23 Funny Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Got A Stomach Cramp

But, if you need a break from witnessing athletic greatness for a few seconds, here are the funniest tweets by women this week:

(Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!)

3. will never understand how people can use someone having cats as an insult like ohhh noooo there are small adorable fluffy creatures crawling around my house who love me and want to sleep on my head every night🤨

— bug girl (@buggirl) July 30, 2024

Twitter: @buggirl

10. If butter companies stopped printing the measurements on the wrapper I would literally not know what to do with myself

— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @mommeh_dearest

13. Turns out if you casually eat about 4 cups of cherries and then go for a brisk walk around the block, you probably won’t make that very important and critical home stretch to the bathroom without projectile pooping on every fiber of fabric covering your body

— Dr. Raven the Science Maven (@ravenscimaven) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @ravenscimaven

15. “do you want to go to the movies and see—” stop right there, baby, i don’t even need to know the film. i’m in. let’s split the bucket-size popcorn & the biggest diet coke money can buy

— Meg (@megannn_lynne) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @megannn_lynne

16. i was arguing w this little girl on roblox cause she called me a dumb 12 year old so i told her im 25 why she say “girl go clock in” ok girl now im pissed

— 🧚🏼‍♀️ (@bbglyyss) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @bbglyyss

18. The kids were asking me what time they were all born and I said the youngest was born at 1:29am, and they all agreed that it must have been nice that she just came out while I was sleeping.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 30, 2024

Twitter: @missmulrooney

19. Why did no one tell me you could go to jury duty dressed for a yoga class? Because my dumbass showed up like I’m on an episode of Scandal.

— Jessica Marie Garcia (@JessMarieGarcia) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @JessMarieGarcia

20. this country pisses me tf off but my god when the USA women’s gymnastics team is competing i caw at my TV screen like a bald eagle

— Kate Austin (she/her) (@KateAustin_) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @KateAustin_

21. quietly crying on the bus and group of teenage girls next to me have been having a conversation for 40 minutes that’s just naming foods and then all deciding whether or not that food is good. One just said “BLT.. bacon lettuce tomato” and her friend replied “yum, girl”

— rayne fisher-quann (@raynefq) July 29, 2024

Twitter: @raynefq

22. today, one of my 3 y/o students told me that his dad died. i teared up on the spot and gave him plenty of extra love/attention. my heart absolutely ached at the thought of him experiencing such a profound loss.

guess who strolled in with a happy meal at pick-up time

— ray (@lobotomyze) August 1, 2024

Twitter: @lobotomyze

23. Why are there no bring your friend to work days so that they can see you have a serious job and do serious things for a living

— Salma (@lifeisasentence) July 28, 2024

Twitter: @lifeisasentence