The Orioles new hot dog is a sloppy, beefy mess

We’ve hit that magical time of the year in Major League Baseball where the season opening has settled down, teams are finding their rhythm and now it’s time for the concessions stands to go buck wild.

Last week we discussed the Pirates’ absolutely wild pierogi-covered dog. Now the Orioles have unleashed this absolute monster.

The Orioles will have a fully loaded foot-long hot dog at home games this year called “The Warehouse Dog”

It’s a 12-inch dog with horseradish-infused brick sauce, pit beef queso fundido, pickled pico and onions on a pretzel bun

Who could eat a whole one of these? pic.twitter.com/txM3CnkTST

— MLB (@MLB) April 12, 2024

If we break this down into its component pieces it’s easy to see where this hot dog goes off the rails.

12” hot dog: Fine. This is normal
Horseradish brick sauce: Actually a big fan of this on an all-beef dog. Color me intrigued
Pit beef queso fundido: Okay, we’re now mixing horseradish with queso? It’s not a deal breaker, but this is getting a little too much.
Pickled pico: I need to know more about this process. By nature pico is already acidic, but the entire purpose of it as a condiment is to add texture and freshness. If this is truly pickled, then you’re both losing the texture and the freshness. This, paired with the queso is great — paired with the queso AND the horseradish is problematic.
Fried onions: Okay Orioles, we didn’t need ANOTHER condiment on this thing
Pretzel bun: Just stop. The pretzel bun concept is fine, but not in a footlong format. It’s too much bread density when you’re already overloading this thing with dense items. Are you just trying to kill someone? Be honest with me please.

I’m all about ludicrous ballpark food, but this is beyond the pale.