I’m Not Charging My Adult Daughters Rent, My Husband’s Reaction Is Killing Me

A woman, 47, has recently sent a letter to our editorial and shared her complicated family situation with us. The woman is deeply concerned about her husband’s unhealthy reaction because of the attitude that she has to her daughters. The problem is that she doesn’t insist on her adult daughters paying rent while they live at their parents’. But the woman’s husband has something tough to say about the whole situation, and it bothers her so much.

The woman has her own view towards her daughters’ accommodation.

Stella, 47, shared her story and asked our readers about their opinions. The woman honestly thinks that she’s doing everything right, but her husband doesn’t agree with her actions and views, and it slowly turns their family life into a mess.

Stella opened her letter, saying, “I have two daughters, they’re 20 and 21 years old. Both of them still live at home, with us. They both work part-time and are putting themselves through college. Both of my daughters attend school full-time. My position regarding them living in our house has always been the same, and it’s immovable.
I’ve always told them that if they are in school, they could live at home without having to worry about paying rent. My daughters aren’t living with us for nothing, they do help a lot and share the responsibilities and daily duties with us. They do help out a lot with their younger half siblings by picking them up from daycare/school, taking them to appointments if I’m working, they’re babysitting them, etc. I can say that I’m totally satisfied with how things are turning out in our family. But my husband adds a grain of salt to our common life.”

The woman’s husband is against this family arrangement and doesn’t hesitate to speak up.

Stella continues, saying, “My husband has always been in good terms with both of my daughters. Though their relationship has never been that much warm, he did treat them equally, like his own kids, but he also insisted that they should be more independent.”

“He honestly seems to think that they should be paying rent and helping more. He even claims they are using me. I disagree.
The collision of our views and positions has already caused so many misunderstandings in our family, that I am feeling discomfort as soon as I enter our house. The atmosphere is getting very tense, and I feel like soon I won’t be able to cope with all the tension that we got.”

Stella’s husband acts in a very tough way now.

Stella goes on with her story, saying, “My husband started literally preaching my daughters and even said once that they’re like parasites living on a tree and sucking the vital energy from it without giving anything in return. This was very offensive to both of them, they didn’t provoke a scandal because of it, but I can feel they’re becoming more and more resistant towards him now.”

“Not long ago, he decided that he wasn’t going to contribute to the household expenses any more because of one thing. He insists that this is my house and my bills (I owned the house prior to us getting married). He added that he also does it because no one else pays rent.
He seems to think that because they do whatever they want with their money, so should he. He does do all of the upkeep of the outside of the house, and we are currently making updates on the inside, and he is doing all the work himself, so I’ve let it go for now.”

Stella is on the crossroads now and really doesn’t know what to do.

The woman shared, “I have always thought that our relationship with my husband was mature and sensible. We did respect each other and never allowed any scandals in the family. But now, the situation has changed so drastically, and what makes me very frustrated is that none of the family members is given any sort of choice. No compromise, nothing. He is creating ultimatums in the family and I find it totally inappropriate.”

“Should I opt for a divorce, or is there any other way to settle the things down in the family?”

And here’s yet another mind-stirring family story, that is quickly turning into a real drama. A man is complaining that his wife totally refused to help his parents and give them money, which makes him sad and even depressed.