England ‘granny’ Kane leads Euro 2024 disappointing XI including France duo, Liverpool midfielder

Our negativity always finds a way to take over so here is our Euro 2024 disappointing XI, consisting of players we expected a lot more from in Germany.

GK: Andriy Lunin (Ukraine)

Ukraine came into thus summer’s European Championship as dark horses to many, myself included, and after their rotten performance against Romania in their opening fixture, it felt like we had another Euro 2020 Turkey on our hands.

Their 3-0 loss to Romania was a surprise but nothing should be taken away from Edward Iordanescu’s side, who went unbeaten in a qualifying group including Switzerland. They did get a helping hand in Munich though, with Real Madrid’s highly-rated goalkeeper Andriy Lunin having an afternoon to forget.

Lunin was hit with the commentator’s curse as, during praise from Steve Wilson, he kicked the ball straight to Dennis Man, whose pass found Nicolae Stanciu’s wonderful right foot. Lunin then should have done better for Razvan Marin’s strike to make it 2-0 as the ball went under his palms and into the back of the net.

The Real Madrid goalkeeper has been linked with a few big clubs with Thibaut Courtois fully fit again but they might be ghosting the European champions’ phone calls regarding Lunin – who was dropped for his side’s second group game against Slovakia.

RB: Timothy Castagne (Belgium)

The first of three Premier League players in our team, Fulham full-back Timothy Castagne had a day to forget when Belgium lost 1-0 to Slovakia on matchday one. He committed two fouls, lost possession eight times, lost six out of six duels and did nothing of note going forward.

In truth, there are slim pickings at right-back but Castagne has not impressed us, improving, but not by much, in Belgium’s matchday two victory over Romania.

Other right-backs like Scotland’s Anthony Ralston and Ukraine’s Yukhym Konoplia have been rubbish but there were little to no expectations of both. Ralston, in particular, was doomed to struggle and would have been nowhere near the Scotland team had one of Aaron Hickey or Nathan Patterson been fit.

CB: Willi Orban (Hungary)

If you are Scottish, then the topic of Hungary and Hungarians will still be a sore one after Sunday night. Having previously done exceptionally well in a Nations League group including England, Germany and Italy, and breezed through qualifying with five wins and three draws from eight, there were pretty high hopes for Hungary at Euro 2024, but they are another team who have failed to impress.

Thanks to his exploits at RB Leipzig and in your Jumbo Rare Players Park on FIFA, you will likely have expected more of Willi Orban going into Euro 2024. But the man who has played 48 times for his country has been below par in the country he plays his club football.

There is a chance Orban will have the chance to leave us with egg on our face in the last 16.

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CB: Josko Gvardiol (Croatia)

Included after an improved performance against Italy on Monday night, Manchester City star Josko Gvardiol looked lost in Croatia’s opening two matches against Spain and Albania.

Gvardiol was given the benefit of the doubt after the Spain drubbing as Croatia were pitiful all over the pitch but against Albania he looked like a deer in the headlights. It was not a great look from a player who starred at the 2022 World Cup.

LB: Federico Dimarco (Italy)

Inter defender Federico Dimarco started the tournament in the worst way possible, assisting Albania’s opening goal after a grand total of 23 seconds, meaning Nedim Bajrami’s powerful strike is the quickest goal in European Championship history.

Things could only get better for Dimarco and they have, because it was impossible to get worse.

The holders are through to the knockout stage of Euro 2024 and will hope to see an improvement from Dimarco; if Luciano Spalletti doesn’t put him out of his misery.

CM: Sergej Milinkovic-Savic (Serbia)

Those playing their club football in Saudi Arabia have really failed to impress in Germany, with the exception of the outstanding N’Golo Kante. Al Hilal’s Sergej Milinkovic-Savic has a big reputation in the game after making his name at Lazio and being linked with Manchester United and Arsenal every single transfer window, but he has been off it for Serbia at Euro 2024.

The Serbians crashed out of the competition after all their star players failed to shine.

CM: Dominik Szoboszlai (Hungary)

Hungary might have secured a last-16 berth as one of the better placed third-place sides at the Euros, but they do not have their captain to thank for getting them out of a tricky group.

Liverpool midfielder Dominik Szoboszlai is the poster boy for Hungarian football and was supposed to carry Marco Rossi’s team on his back this summer, yet we have seen three very disappointing performances from him, carrying on from his anonymous displays for the Reds during the latter stages of 2023/24.

If Hungary want to cause an upset in the last 16, they will need Szoboszlai to drastically step things up because frankly he has been pants.

AM: Antoine Griezmann (France)

There was a big temptation to include Phil Foden but what we have seen from Antoine Griezmann has been surprisingly bad.

RW: Ousmane Dembele (France)

Viktor Tsyhankov deserves a mention after a horrible display against Romania in Ukraine’s first match. The Girona winger did not feature in the win over Slovakia and has probably lost his place to a 54-year-old Andriy Yarmolenko. It’s not a great look.

Anyhow, our right winger is Ousmane Dembele, who beats Tsyhankov and France team-mate Marcus Thuram to a starting spot in our team.

He was better against Poland, winning a penalty thanks to a clumsy Jakub Kiwior challenge, but we have been fairly disappointed by the PSG man.

LW: Rafael Leao (Portugal)

Two appearances, two disaster-classes, two yellow cards for simulation, and a suspension for matchday three; there has not been a more disappointing star at Euro 2024 than Portugal forward Rafael Leao.

ST: Harry Kane (England)

Ukraine star players Tsyhankov, Heorhii Sudakov and Artem Dovbyk have all failed to impress us and we did originally go with Dovybk, but England’s performance against Slovenia meant we simply had to include one of Gareth Southgate’s players.

He has scored one goal in three matches but has been ineffective in the press and anonymous in the final third. As the Mailbox put it, he was ‘wandering around like a granny at a car boot’ v Slovenia..

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