Chelsea bin-fire will leave them with a ‘squad of Anthony Martials’

Chelsea are the gift that keep on giving with Enzo Maresca’s latest quotes an astonishing turn of events.

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Who would join Chelsea?

I thought I’d throw a bit more petrol on the Chelsea fire with another angle that doesn’t get mentioned.

What sort of player would want to go to a club that has such a stockpile of players in every position?

You could assume exceptional players wouldn’t care as they’d rise above the competition and get a starting spot (maybe what Sterling was thinking?) but I don’t see any of those in players that have been signed, do you? (admittedly I’m not an expert on the Chelsea squad so would be interested in a fan’s view?)

Which leaves the more reasonable explanation that players are swayed by having a long term highly paid contract that will set them up for life whether they play or not. Commonly known as the Man Utd problem, this also means these players are going to be very difficult to sell as, with limited or no playing time, their re-sale value will be down and their wages will be inflated. Hence no sane club will want to buy them at ridiculous transfer fees and wages.

What it also means, is these players just have no desire or motivation to win or improve. It’s just a squad of Anthony Martials.

As a completely-unlikely-and-riddled-with-flaws solution, I’d like to propose that any player contracted by a club over the age of 21 who plays less than 5 first team games a season (450 minutes, not 5 appearances off the bench) is automatically allowed to leave on a free transfer at end of season (5 games in calendar year applied to winter transfer window).

Unfair to clubs? Nope, they’d have to consider their squad size.

Problem of high salaries remains? Not really when the ‘buying’ club won’t have to pay a transfer fee.

Smaller squads will leave teams more susceptible to injury crisis? Maybe, but there’ll be a lot more available transfers when the window is open.

How the hell do Chelsea manage to keep this going under FFP or whatever acronym it is now? It really is a Brewster’s millions scenario as another mailboxer suggested.

Jon, Cape Town

MORE ON CHELSEA MESS FROM F365:

👉 Chelsea ‘bomb squad’, Enzo Fernandez and Joao Felix in ranking of 22 Todd Boehly mistakes

👉 Reassigning the Chelsea ‘bomb squad’: Sterling to Premier League rivals; Real Madrid land full-back

👉 No sympathy for Enzo Maresca; he signed up for the Chelsea threshing machine

…The Chelsea saga is the gift that keeps on giving for the media – lovely funny conclusion in the 16 Conclusions from Sunday’s game and Ford’s Boehly article. This is going to run and run for ages.

But it was Dale’s letter in the mailbox on Chelsea Math that caught my attention. I thought that number is incomprehensible. Then realized that Dale’s maths didn’t equate to the linked article – no doubt supplied by F365. The one saying Chelsea were proud of their 42 man roster at an below EPL average wage of £72k, with an average of 4.5 years remaining.

A look at various websites with the base salary of the squad shows this is bullsh*t. It looked like around £3.7m a week or £44m a year in base wages. But six players wages were not showing – like Joao Felix. Plus even if moving Sterling, Lukaku etc on, that means the average contract life goes up. So talking ‘averages’ is meaningless in determining the longer term financial health.

It’s true there are several new signings on lower base wages – no doubt with large bonuses that are highly unlike to come to fruition at this rate. But the treatment of Sterling has to be a cause for concern for new or prospective players. Why any player would join Chelsea is hard to fsthom.

My initial thought on their long term contracts to amortize the initial fee for the player was that Chelsea were just punting the problem downstream. But seeing the Sterling situation shows how they are looking to deal with players no longer needed. Stick em to one side in the hope they get fed up and leave for whatever they can negotiate with the buying club. Chelsea hold all the cards for players bought on long term deals and low-ish wages.

This really is a lose-lose-lose model for player, club and fans.

Every time I read another Boehly-ism it does seem like rearranging the deck-chairs on the Titanic.

Paul McDevitt

…Has anyone read the recent Maresca quotes!?!? Oooofffffff.

If you thought Ten Hag lightly mentioning Sancho’s underperformance in training was okay to start a war, Maresca seems on a mission to make a record number of enemies by his current statements!

The club has thrown him under the bus, and he is trying to come out fighting but saying that he doesnt even see the other 20 players, that Sterling statement of “he will have no minutes here” followed by “They can have 20 years contracts, I don’t care” is damn sure not going to go down well with ANY player.

I feel bad for the man, but this feels like an insane amount of information to give the media, things which should be dealt with within the club! There aren’t leaks like United do, this is outright saying “f*** your careers” to 20 players as a manager who has bought around half of them!

Aman Sheth

Lampard?

I enjoyed very much the article on Boehly mistakes (although could you extend that to all the mugs – Eghbali has had way more say in the day to day than Boehly).

I would say reappointing Lampard should be way higher. I cannot invision any sane human looking at Chelsea being in a mess and employing a hopeless failure. If any business would do such a thing, it’s Chelsea.

Will (Putting a bet on Lampard as next Chelsea manager, Maresca gone by Christmas)

Chelsea are only a danger to Chelsea

Quick riposte to Marc, Bolton: Chelsea and Man City are apples and oranges, their situations are very different. What Boehly and co are doing at Chelsea is very damaging for Chelsea. Worst case scenario, Chelsea go into administration/liquidation. Very bad for Chelsea and no doubt many ripples throughout the football world I can’t think of. But it’s mainly Chelsea that will suffer.

With Man City, worst case scenario is they are found guilty of the 115 charges but the punishment is the slap on the wrist a lot of us fear it will be. If that happens, football in this country is finished because what would be the point?

So, assuming things go (very) wrong, Chelsea is dangerous for Chelsea, Man City is dangerous for football as a whole.

The other difference is, it’s quite amusing watching Chelsea ”operate” but it’s terrifying think Man City ‘might’ get away with alleged cheating on a massive scale

Also to Dave, LFC – does Ian Rush count as a Big Man?

Clive, LFC

Six thoughts on the new season, new broom that…

…does indeed sweep clean. At least cleaner than the old broom. And so we finally land at the start of a new season of actual football rather than tired and boring speculation.

Some thoughts:

1) I thought it was brilliant Liverpool were not on the front pages of nonsense transfer speculation all summer long. No doubt it will cost the club in the media for not providing them with a living during the empty months. But for a long-serving fan, it was completely refreshing.

2) Who wouldn’t run their business that way? Change of leadership, potential change in playing style, enterprise-wide adjustments to be made. Why would you splurge a wad of cash like a Boehly? Makes perfect sense to let Slot assess the squad and who can/cannot play the way he wants them to. I love the calmness even if it takes two or three years to deliver.

3) Why do people yell and scream about their club not having a sporting director or football director or a committee that handles business and transfers, then once they get one, use the manager’s/coach’s name when discussing transfers? Either the manager is in charge of all transfer business, which makes him fair game, or he is not. Can’t have it both ways. Media is particularly bad for this but so are many fans.

4) I really enjoyed some recent Manure arguments about availability of starting 11. Not sure when this became a thing. Probably shortly after meaningless net-spend becoming a thing. Is the starting 11 in the premier league the same as starting 11 in FA Cup or Champions League or League Cup? No. It takes a full squad. I hate to break it to them but the whole point is that with the ridiculous number of games being played it is essential to have a full squad with quality that you trust. Not just 11 blokes. If Man Utd did have their “starting 11” available for every game in the Prem and everyone else did too…. Man Utd would still finish no higher than 6th.

5) When did Limahl’s tipped highlights become a thing again? Maybe it’s just me being grumpy but I saw waaaaay too much of that on opening weekend. That was over a long, long time ago. Rightly.

6) Number 6 is reserved specifically to say that I am not moaning about VAR or referees. Yet!

Happy 2024/2025 season everybody! Fingers crossed for Ipswich. Wouldn’t mind seeing Spurs doing a bit more than usual. Happy if Brentford and Brighton have really good seasons.

Sean, LFC, Roseville, Ontario

Spurs had delivery

Glad to have finally been published recently, even if my concept wasn’t given love. What I would like to say about Spurs…. The quality of set pieces was out of this world. On a-another day they could have scored 3-4 before half time. Soalnke did what he wasbought to do (apart from score). Spurs have a strong chance for top 4 imo. Tell me I’m wrong brothers and sisters.

Darren Colgan

Volley volley good

How on earth you can have a list of great volleys and not include Paul Scholes against Bradford direct from a David Beckham corner in March 2000 is beyond me. In fact, I half suspect you did it deliberately to get outraged emails like this to fill up the mailbox!

Matt Bishop

…I’ve recently gone freelance and therefore have time to write an indulgent email without feeling like I should be checking my inbox. So, as an addendum to Johnny Nic’s volley run-down, here are a few more plucked from memory:

Paul Scholes vs Bradford

An iconic hit, given further heft in the Premier League folklore stakes by the only footage available being a low-resolution capture from Valley Parade’s single CCTV camera, giving it a ‘is that a UFO?’ vibe. The volley direct from a corner probably had been done before, but at the time it felt like something new to an over-keen 16-year-old named me.

Trevor Sinclair vs Derby

A short but airborne corner is juggled by a foetal Joe Cole, lofted into the box, and Trevor ‘not a great goalscorer but a scorer of great goals’ Sinclair smashes it with a scissor kick in a fully horizontal position, about four feet off the floor. Any goal that involves multiple players passing the ball between them without it hitting the ground is by default great, as per Mandzukic’s Champions League final overhead kick.

Tony Yeboah vs Liverpool

Obviously. Arguably the most iconic goal in Premier League history, in terms of just the goal itself and not the circumstances. Seemed to get replayed on every Sky Sports football broadcast for about a decade, and is as much a part of the tapestry of 90s football as The Life of Riley by the Lightning Seeds and Umbro.

Robin van Persie vs Charlton

‘Keep you knee over the ball’ is one of the first rules of Volley Club, so what do you do if the ball is chest-high? Leap into the air like a Shaolin monk and execute what looks like a scissor kick, without the scissoring bit. Bizarre and brilliant.

Matty Taylor vs Everton

One of the few professional wondergoals that makes you think “Yeah, I could’ve done that”, even though you probably couldn’t, realistically. The ball hits a couple of players, bounces up, Taylor runs onto it and hits it mid-jump. Unlike some fancier volleys that go towards the goal in a straight line, his shot has the arc of a clump of unwelcome mince thrown underarm into a butcher’s meat bin.

Dan, Worthing