Liverpool hijack Sterling move to Manchester United, who are dragged into Jermaine Jenas mess
Raheem Sterling is heading to Liverpool instead of Manchester United, who might be surprised to find themselves embroiled in the Jermaine Jenas stuff.
Sterling loss
Those at the Daily Mirror website are in their absolute element when it comes to the Raheem Sterling situation. It is a story absolutely ripe for old quotes to be dredged up and used completely out of context, disguised as the latest developments.
That is how we got the news of his seemingly impending move to Manchester United on Thursday, and how he is now actually heading back to Liverpool on Friday.
âSterlingâs âstanceâ on Liverpool return as Chelsea star is offered to rivalâ is wonderfully egregious for a number of reasons:
1) Sterlingâs âstanceâ on Liverpool return is probably the third-most important âstanceâ of all here, behind that of Liverpool themselves and Chelsea.
2) If Sterlingâs âstanceâ is being revealed, why is the word âstanceâ in quote marks despite not being used a single time beyond the headline?
3) That âasâ is doing an awful lot of heavy lifting, considering the ârivalâ Sterling has been offered to is actually Aston Villa and very much not the entirely uninterested Liverpool.
4) How precisely are Sterlingâs quotes as a Manchester City player from 2020 âraising eyebrowsâ as the Mirrorâs intro insists while heâs contracted to Chelsea in 2024?
Leaving all that to one side, it is unclear how Sterling saying four years ago: âWould I ever go back to Liverpool? To be honest with you, I love Liverpool. Donât get it twisted, they are always in my heart, do you know what I mean? Itâs a team that (has) done a lot for me growing up,â in any way reveals his thoughts on joining them now. Whose eyebrows are being raised by those banal quotes?
But obviously Mediawatch is stupid, because âwith Sterling reportedly once keen on a return to Anfield, along with the Arne Slot looking for the right deal in the market, there could be a scenario where Sterling dons the red shirt once againâ. After all, their attempt to sign Anthony Gordon for ÂŁ75m told us they will definitely pursue Sterling out of a desire to âadd a silky wideman to their ranks this summerâ.
Those two are basically the same player and the Arne Slot knows it. Welcome back, silky wideman.
MORE ON THE STERLING SAGA FROM F365
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Raheem factory
Quite brilliantly, the Daily Mirror website know there is plenty of obvious mileage in suggesting there is even a modicum of a chance Liverpool might sign Sterling, despite the likelihood being approximately zero. This story crops up elsewhere:
âRaheem Sterling gets new Premier League transfer option as stance on Liverpool emergesâ
Itâs Crystal Palace this time. So definitely still not actually headline-worthy Liverpool. But at least his âstanceâ is no longer quoted, which somehow qualifies as progress here.
Jermaine man
Sterling has been ever so slightly usurped as the most Googled name in all of football. The Daily Mirror website know both that and the fact that Manchester United are the most followed club in all the land.
Now Mediawatch has somehow not yet entirely lost its mind; there is a reason those two points are relevant and related, at least if you are a grand master of scraping the barrel for content, reaching the bottom and just deciding that will do anyway because clicks.
This truly is awful stuff:
âJermaine Jenas wonât commentate on Man Utd clash for TNT Sports after BBC sackingâ
He wonât. He also wasnât ever going to: the broadcast team for that game has only ever comprised of Lynsey Hipgrave, Darren Fletcher, Ally McCoist, Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole and Jules Breach. At no stage was Jenas planned to be involved in any capacity.
Few things shock us anymore in this line of work but that âafter BBC sackingâ is properly dreadful.
READ NEXT:Â Jermaine Jenas âunhappyâ as he responds to BBC sacking in talkSPORT interview â âthereâs two sidesâ
Sweaty Palms
This is a strange story from The Sunâs websiteâŠ
âCole Palmer sparks injury fear as Chelsea star winces and hobbles down tunnelâ
âŠnot necessarily because of the subject matter â Cole Palmer being potentially injured is huge news â but because of the quotes they both do and do not use.
They quote Enzo Maresca as saying Palmer âfelt something but he looks fine. They already checked him, he looks fine and OK.â
They quote @Bewhatyoubejr praying to his 925 Twitter followers and saying âPlease be OKâ.
They do not quote Palmer telling reporters in the mixed zone after the game: âAll good, Iâm fine.â
Football news in 2024 is properly weird.
Cliffe notes
âSir Jim Ratcliffe has signed three Under-18 players who could become Manchester United starsâ â Manchester Evening News.
Somehow it feels as though Ratcliffe is too busy making people redundant if they choose to work from home and cutting back the privileges of those employees who remain to get involved in the signing of Leny Yoro, Sekou Kone and Chido Obi-Martin.
Technically speaking
âSouthgate lands shock new job in football after quitting as England bossâ â The Sun website.
Pretty much the only job Southgate oozes more than England manager and England U21 manager is UEFA technical observer. What exactly is the âshockâ here?
READ NEXT:Â Who are the favourites to be the next permanent England manager after Gareth Southgate?