What Else Can I Do To Make My Mother Accept The Man I Love?

I met Ricky in senior high school. The connection between us was irresistible. I did not intend to but I ended up falling in love with him. He was also head over heels in love with me. So we started dating.

I kept the relationship a secret from my mother. By the time she found out, we had been together for six months and I was pregnant. That was even why I involved her, the pregnancy. I was scared and didn’t know what to do.

She reacted in a way I expected any mum in that situation would react. She was angry. She screamed her disappointment to hell and back. In the end, we went to the hospital and took care of it. She made sure Ricky paid for all the bills.

After everything she summoned the two of us and gave us an earful. “You people behaved irresponsibly. I don’t want this to happen again,” she warned. We thought that was all but she had more.

She turned to Ricky and scolded him as if he was child. Then she told him, “Stay away from her. I don’t want to see or hear that the two of you are together, you hear?” He nodded and said yes. I also agreed to stay away from him. Convinced that she succeeded in breaking us up, she let the matter go.

What she didn’t know was that we only agreed to break up in front of her. We had agreed to do that for her sake. After all, if we didn’t tell her we were still together, how would she know?

So that’s what we did. We continued dating but we were discreet. I acted sad and heartbroken when I was at home but if I was with him, it was a different story. We continued to do everything lovers do, except this time around we were careful.

Unfortunately, all our sneaking around didn’t do much to cover our tracks. My mother caught on somehow. Oh, and she didn’t take it easy at all.

What she put us through during the pregnancy incident paled in comparison to what she did to us this time around. She scolded us, humiliated us, and even reported my boyfriend to our school authorities.

She didn’t stop there. She made my stay at home unbearable. Every little thing I did earned me insults. “You don’t know how to do this but you know how to have a boyfriend,” she would say at the slightest mistake I made.

At some point, I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I left home without telling her. While I was away, we had no contact. However, I started missing her. So I called her one day.

Like the proverbial prodigal son’s father, my mother was happy to hear from me. We spoke, and I returned home.

I thought things would be better but when she found out I was still with Ricky, all the drama started again. She insisted that she would never allow me to be with him because we had disobeyed her when she first told us to break up.

Well, I couldn’t take her maltreatment so left home again. This time around too I didn’t contact her for a while. But eventually, I started missing her again. When I called her, I apologized.

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I admitted that I was wrong for getting pregnant in the first place and lying to her about breaking up with Ricky. I explained to her how good this guy has been to me. Ricky joined me and we pleaded with her to forgive us and accept our relationship. She still said no.

What I don’t understand is that she won’t accept him as my boyfriend, yet she’s willing to take his money. I don’t know what else to do to change her mind.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I love this guy, and after three years together, I’m certain he’s the one I want to spend my life with. But my mom remains firm in her disapproval.

Do you think she will ever accept him despite the fact that we’ve been together for three years now? Is there anything we can do to change her mind? I don’t want to lose him, and he doesn’t want to lose me either.

—Caroline
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