The Very Best Lines From ‘The White Lotus’’s Season 3 Premiere, Ranked

I can’t believe a brand-new White Lotus season has finally materialized after all my hoping and waiting and googling of various Parker Posey compilation videos. (If you’ve never seen her as a crazy Barneys employee on Will and Grace, trust me, you need to.) But the blessed event has finally come, and this season, Mike White is taking us on an all-expenses-paid jaunt through Thailand.

The long-awaited return of The White Lotus brings with it the opportunity to itemize the episode’s best lines, Succession-style, so naturally, I’m taking it; below, find a power ranking of the very best one-liners from Sunday night’s episode, titled “Same Spirits, New Forms.”

“Rick, the lady in the airport thought you were my dad, okay? You should get a gentlemen’s facial” —Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) to her boyfriend Rick (Walton Goggins)Guys, it’s 2025! Men’s skincare is no longer taboo, and Chelsea knows it!

“This is so on-brand for you, to be a victim of your own decisions” —Chelsea, againIs it me, or is Wood already the runaway star of this season?

Photo: Coutesy of HBO

“You’ll notice a lot of bald white guys in Thailand. The locals call them LBHs: Losers Back Home.” —Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon)Chelsea finds a newfound sister in having boring older boyfriends, and Chloe’s just so happens to be Tanya McQuoid’s shitty ex!

“We flew over the North Pole!” —Parker Posey as drawling North Carolina housewife VictoriaYes, the accent is a little thick for reality’s sake, but we love you, Parker!

“You sure know how to treat a burnt-out bitch” —BelindaOh, Natasha Rothwell, how I missed you and your succinctness.

Photo: Coutesy of HBO

“You look like you just got pushed out of a birth canal” —Laurie (Carrie Coon), handily winning the girls’-trip compliment arms race“Dad, I know I gave you shit, but this place is clutch” —Patrick Schwarzenegger playing a Southern bro named Saxon“Please stop talking” —a cranky Rick to Chelsea, who’s obsessively praising a Thai hotel employee’s beautyIn general, I think men should be nice to their much-younger girlfriends if they insist upon having them, but…mood.