‘SNL’: Shane Gillis Tries to Survive Winery Tour With Crazy Girlfriend

Heidi Gardner plays Tessa, who obsesses over getting the perfect picture in front of an orange tree

Comedian Shane Gillis, during his second time hosting Saturday Night Live, portrayed James, whose new girlfriend, Tessa (Heidi Gardner), puts him through the ringer when it comes to what should be the simple act of taking a picture of her in front of an orange tree.

The couple and James’ parents (Andrew Dismukes, Ashley Padilla), while touring a winery, exchange niceties, and everything seems to be going as planned–until Tessa spots the orange tree, and her expression changes immediately.

“Oh my god. Is that an orange tree? Oh my god, I love those. Wait, baby, take a picture. Take a picture of me,” she says, standing in front of it and announcing “okay” several times in rapid succession once she has posed.

That photo she doesn’t like, however, and she instructs James to take a series.

“Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Closed mouth. Open mouth. Laughing. Laughing again. Oh, and then one for the veterans,” she says, saluting with two fingers and pursing her lips.

None of those have done the job, either. “You think I look hot?” Tessa says, disgruntled. “I look like Michael Cera.”

During the next attempt, when James says she’s not giving him directions, Tessa becomes outright mean. “So the direction is: be a man. You’re not a baby boy anymore. You’re a big man.”

“Get the top of my head. Not my shoulders. But then my legs,” she instructs bizarrely.

James is perplexed. “How is that possible?” he wonders.

Eventually, when James’ parents want to move things along, Tessa mocks their voices and says they’re ugly.

With James now in front of the orange tree, Tessa’s directions make no sense.

“Baby, act like you have an egg in your mouth,” she says. “And smile with your nose.”