“17 Barbie Doll Heads”: Doctors Are Revealing The Weirdest Objects They’ve Had To Pull Out Of Patients’ Butts, Vaginas, And Penises
1.
“I was the patient’s family doctor, and I took care of him in the hospital for his short stay after. He had a cue ball get stuck. Not sure exactly what he thought would be the way to get it out. We had a lot of trouble getting it out. The conversation with the surgeons trying to come up with a way to get it out was pretty hilarious.”
—tadgie
2.
“Years ago, my nurse wife told me a man had an apple removed from his butt but I never understood how this could be possible.”
—lowly_worm_
3.
“A friend of my mine is a surgery resident and during one of her trauma shifts, a man walked in with an incandescent light bulb in his colon. It was shoved in with the wide part first. They were dilating the rectum in an attempt to remove it and the resident in charge of the procedure managed to accidentally separate the metal base from the glass globe; which immediately shattered under the pressure if the colon. They had to perform a partial colectomy to resolve the complication.”
“A foreign body per rectum is a fairly common occurrence. In my time rotating in the ER the most common things have been yuca roots, avocados, shampoo bottles, etc. But that lightbulb story is still unmatched… I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen the X-ray.”
—HeisenV
4.
“When I worked in the ER we had a guy come in with a six-battery flashlight stuck up Main Street. The funny part is that it was inserted bulb out and it was turned ON. So we laid him down and the doc spread his cheeks; then the room lit up like he just cracked open Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase.”
—reuben515
5.
“Back when I was an ER tech, we had this guy come in with a full size bottle of VO5 shampoo up his butt. Of course he said he ‘fell on it in the shower.’ You could clearly see it on the X-ray, it was pretty spectacular. The best part was he knew exactly what needed to be done to get it out, suggesting that this wasn’t the first time…he asked for conscious sedation and for someone to pull it out…well the doctor tried that, then tried to manually get it out with forceps, and was essentially elbow deep in this dude…but couldn’t get it.”
“He had to go to the operating room to get it taken out. I bumped into the surgeon a few days later and asked him how it went. He joked to me that ‘after we knocked him out, I grabbed a plunger out of the bathroom and got it out that way.’ But then told me all he had to do was stick some suction up there till he felt it connect, and then slowly pulled it out.”
—Cramer19
6.
“Not my story, my friend is a radiographer. A guy came into the hospital with Barbie dolls up his butt. After scans, one came out without too much issue, but the other was too far up. They were worried that if it was pulled out, it’s arms would open and puncture the bowel. So they scheduled surgery, the X-ray staff waiting excitedly for news… The surgeon then returned and with a serious voice announced: ‘We’ve found Ken.'”
—Muahhahaha
7.
“I was an RN at a busy Detroit emergency department. A woman came in to see us with abdominal pain. The X-ray revealed 17 oval-shaped objects in her vaginal space. They were removed by a very diligent medical resident armed with a speculum and McGill forceps, with the aid of an ultrasound tech. 17 Barbie doll heads. Their removal was made a bit easier by their long hair.”
—[deleted]
8.
“Son of a doctor here. My dad removed an entire peeled sweet potato from someone’s colon once. He swore that he had just slipped and fell on it.”
—Salty_Knees
9.
“I’ve seen a small size Fanta orange soda can get pulled straight out of a man’s rectum.”
—Luffywara
10.
“My sister worked in a urology clinic and has some very wild stories. She had to remove almost 200 BBs from a guys bladder via his urethra one by one! As the guy had a fetish of shoving things down is urethra.”
—highsociety121
11.
“On my surgery, we had to remove a mini Nerf football from someone’s butt.”
—rando_genericson43
12.
“My wife is a surgeon resident. She’s had to remove a toilet brush from a man’s butt. When asked why it was up there he said he wondered how it would feel. Turns out he also wondered about plungers and toothbrushes too.”
—[deleted]
13.
“Middle age man goes into the emergency room with something up his back passage, goes in to X-ray where he sees my girlfriend. What’s up there? Four baking potatoes. Not the little ones either, each one about the size of a fist. As he tells it, he was at home cooking dinner and slipped in the kitchen and 4 potatoes went up his arse.”
—Gastlyghost
14.
“Not a surgeon, but worked at the hospital. Dude had a mason jar up his butt, and a bunch of safety pins through his penis.”
—stayathmdad
15.
“O.R. Nurse here, One time helped remove a G.I. Joe from someone’s ass. Like, full size 12-inch OG doll. The X-RAY was hilarious.”
—JWrither
16.
“I’m a scribe at my local ER and one time an 80-year-old man was getting a CT scan and forewarned us that we would see something in his rectum that had been there at least 30 years but didn’t bother to tell us what it was. It was a sword.”
—jhepp23
17.
“Nurse friend had a girl who had a lot of vaginal pain and some bleeding, the doctor took a look and found a horrific smell and discovered a chocolate bar wrapper stuck up there. Turns out she and her boyfriend didn’t have a condom and decided the wrapper would do in a pinch, and the jagged edges had cut her on the inside and still had the ‘remnants’ from several days ago…”
—Epiphany7777
18.
“My girlfriend works at an urgent care. A lady asked if they do vaginal exams because she had a Christmas ornament stuck in her vagina.”
—fblake91
19.
“I’m a urologist and have the fortunate task of removing things that people stick up theirs urethras. I’ve removed batteries, a stack of magnets, candles, a telephone cable (the curly kind), a push pin, you name it. People are wild.”
—purpleddit
20.
“A doctor friend of mine showed us an X-ray of a round object up someone’s rectum and had us try to guess what it was. Someone had put an entire coconut up their butt. The individual did it wrap it in plastic beforehand though. Also nobody guessed correctly.”
—orana93
21.
“Was called to the ER to pull out a 750ml glass bottle of extra virgin olive oil out of someone’s rectum. As it turned out, the bottle was jammed far beyond the rectum. I shoved my hand in the patient’s butt all the way up to my elbow to grab a hold of the bottle, but it was too slippery and proved impossible to pull out. We put a scope in to see if we could lay a snare around the bottle and yank it out. No luck. He ended up with a colostomy. It wasn’t his first time either.”
—[deleted]
22.
And finally, “Not a doctor, but a former ER tech in a fairly busy hospital. Had a guy come in with a small mayonnaise jar filled with water and a couple of gold fish stuck inside him.”
—TurnTheTVOff
Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
So, medical professionals, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to remove from a patient? Let us know in the comments. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, leave your submission in the form below.
