Chelsea dominate top 10 most pointless summer signings but dodgy Newcastle purchase top

After a summer transfer window full of bizarre deals, we have ranked the top 10 most pointless signings made by Premier League clubs.

You might say that some of these deals are more dodgy than pointless. We’d never, ever suggest that.

Top 10 most pointless Premier League signings of the summer

10) Neto (Bournemouth to Arsenal, loan)

Arsenal needed a new No. 2 after Aaron Ramsdale finally departed for his third relegation club, joining Southampton on deadline day, and they turned to Bournemouth’s Neto after deciding not to proceed in negotiations with Espanyol for Joan Garcia.

Espanyol wanted the 23-year-old’s €30million release clause paid and Arsenal were only willing to pay €23m as a total package. There didn’t appear to be much haggling and with Bournemouth looking to move on from Neto, the Gunners decided that the Brazilian was the right man to occupy Ramsdale’s seat on the bench.

At first glance, it doesn’t sound like a pointless signing; he brings a lot of experience and plenty in the Premier League and is a fairly decent back-up option. His inclusion will become null and void if David Raya gets injured but the only – and pretty massive – hitch is that Neto is cup tied for the Carabao Cup. Enjoy your debut…in January.

9) Marc Guiu (Barcelona to Chelsea, £5.1m)

Chelsea no doubt saw Guiu’s tiny release clause as a low-risk opportunity so proceeded. We can’t blame them for doing so, but we can still complain about it because that is what British people do best.

As with many of Chelsea’s recent signings, we are left wondering a) why they bothered and b) if there is any plan at all. We recall the pointless tale of David Datro Fofana and suspect Guiu is destined for the same fate – being exiled from the first-team squad after a handful of underwhelming appearances.

The young Spaniard was not even on the bench for Sunday’s Premier League match against Crystal Palace. Chelsea will likely use their Europa Conference League group stage fixtures as confidence-boosters amid their domestic struggles, and we do think Guiu will feature in that competition. Fofana was never blessed with the opportunity to play Shamrock Rovers and some lad called Noah.

8) Lewis Dobbin (Everton to Aston Villa, £10m)

After scoring once in 20 appearances for Everton, Aston Villa decided to sign Dobbin for £10m. Tim Iroegbunam went the other way in a separate transfer worth £1m less and the 21-year-old has started all three of the Toffees’ opening Premier League fixtures, while Dobbin is out on loan at West Brom and is yet to score or assist.

Iroegbunam had the potential to be a pointless signing in what initially appeared to be a book-balancing deal between the two Premier League clubs, but he has impressed for an Everton side In A Difficult Moment. Dobbin, meanwhile, has to prove himself to Villa while on loan at their rivals. It’s not been a smooth start for him but there is potential. Enough potential to become a key player for Villa or be flipped for profit? We are not so sure.

7) Mike Penders (Genk to Chelsea, £16.8m)

If we are going to criticise the Omari Kellyman signing – which we will – then it makes sense to do the same with Penders, who joined Chelsea for £16.8m despite being valued at £842,000 on Transfermarkt.

Belgian goalkeeper Penders – dubbed the next Thibaut Courtois – has been loaned back to Genk to develop and theoretically has the potential required to play for Chelsea. The fact it is another ‘keeper signing does have us scratching our heads though. The Blues currently have four goalkeepers in their first-team squad and have Djordje Petrovic, Gabriel Slonina and Kepa Arrizabalaga out on loan. It’s just a bit excessive. It would be in any position, but in goal? Even more so.

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6) Joshua Zirkzee (Bologna to Manchester United, £36.5m)

Man Utd needed to sign a new striker in the summer transfer window, there is no doubt about that. What they didn’t need was another Rasmus Hojlund. They did not need to rely on another raw, young striker from Serie A. What they did need was a sure thing up front, someone with experience who knows how to consistently score at the top level. An Ivan Toney or Victor Osimhen.

Zirkzee came up clutch on his debut, winning the Red Devils the match against Fulham, but cost his new side a win the following week and missed two sitters against Liverpool on Sunday. It’s been a rollercoaster already for the young Dutchman, who is under increased pressure with Hojlund currently out injured.

The Hojlund project took a long time to get into second gear and that was due to the worrying lack of depth up front. Had there been less pressure and fewer minutes, his debut season might have been a lot more impressive and the goals probably would have been spread out rather than scored in one cluster. It just didn’t make sense to essentially make the same signing again, but this is Manchester United after all. They don’t transfer so well.

5) Jadon Sancho (Manchester United to Chelsea, loan)

Raheem Sterling was an underperforming winger on huge wages so Chelsea decided it was best to cut ties. Not only was Sterling a financial issue, but there wasn’t really a place for him in Enzo Maresca’s side, so a replacement wasn’t necessary, right? Wrong, apparently. The Blues decided to sign another underperforming, unwanted, overpaid winger. Please make it make sense.

Sancho is a better footballer than his time at Manchester United suggests – just look at how good he was for Borussia Dortmund in the second half of last season. That should give Chelsea fans hope that he can make a positive impact; he also can’t be any worse than Mykhaylo Mudryk. But then Pedro Neto has just come through the door. Honestly, it just feels like another unnecessary signing made by Chelsea.

4) John Ruddy (Birmingham to Newcastle, free)

Every club needs a Scott Carson but Newcastle already had one in Mark Gillespie. Why did they sign John Ruddy? Not even John Ruddy knows. If this wasn’t such a low-profile transfer, it would probably be first because it genuinely makes zero sense whatsoever.

Eddie Howe now has Nick Pope, Martin Dubravka and Odysseas Vlachodimos ahead of Gillespie and Ruddy in the pecking order.

3) Joao Felix (Atletico Madrid to Chelsea, £42m)

Oh, Chelsea. What makes this more pointless than Sancho, you might ask. Well, Felix was average in six months at the club in 2023, should end up costing double what Sancho will, is another forward player on huge wages, and nobody really knows what his best position is. Chelsea already have that enigma in Christopher Nkunku. They needed an out-and-out striker, with Victor Osimhen there and available, yet decided to sign Felix for over £40m.

What makes this all the more frustrating is that Chelsea only signed him so they could sell Conor Gallagher to Atletico. The original plan was Samu Omorodion – an actual striker – but that didn’t happen and Felix was the alternative. All to move on an academy graduate who missed one game last season – through suspension, by the way – and was probably Mauricio Pochettino’s second best player behind Palmer. It just stinks.

2) Omari Kellyman (Aston Villa to Chelsea, £19m)

There are three Chelsea signings in the top three and five in the top 10. What a club.

The most baffling of the lot has to be the addition of Kellyman from Aston Villa for £19m. As mentioned many times before, his value was nowhere near what Chelsea paid and we all know why the deal came to pass. We all know but we refuse to say it. We don’t really fancy the aggro.

Kellyman recently confirmed an injury that will rule him out for a long time, but available for selection or not, we can’t see any minutes for him in this ridiculously stacked Chelsea team.

1) Odysseas Vlachodimos (Nottingham Forest to Newcastle, £20m)

The dodgiest most pointless Premier League signing of the season has to be Newcastle’s acquisition of Greek goalkeeper Vlachodimos.

After it was reported that Forest wanted Elliot Anderson for £35m, it emerged that the Magpies were looking at Vlachodimos in a separate deal. The fee for Anderson raised many eyebrows, though it turns out that the actual fee is £15m, with Vlachodimos costing Newcastle a baffling £20m.

That’s Forest’s fourth-choice goalkeeper. For 20 million of the King’s finest. On a ranking including many stinky signings, this one absolutely reeks and could come back to bite Newcastle in the bottom.

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