Could Liverpool help Man Utd sign Matheus Cunha?

Absolutely not but we all get to put Liverpool and Man Utd in the same headline so whoop-de-doo.

Liverpool Man Utd transfer Liverpool Man Utd

The real platinum-plated gold of football clicks is to crowbar Liverpool and Man Utd into one headline. It’s getting trickier and trickier the further apart they stand in the Premier League table. And it’s hardly likely that their transfer targets are the same this summer. If they are then Liverpool have seriously f***ed it.

So there has to be some serious nonsense to get them on the same page, in the same headline. Step forward the Manchester Evening News. Or rather one of Reach’s Senior Sport Central Audience Writers.

‘Man United could use Liverpool transfer to secure cut-price Matheus Cunha deal’

First, it’s a right load of absolute bollocks; that much is clear from the headline. But we feel compelled to read on…

‘Manchester United could possibly avoid paying Matheus Cunha’s £62.5million release clause thanks in part to their great rivals Liverpool.’

Straight away, ‘could’ has become ‘could possibly’. All of the alarm bells are ringing.

It’s clear that somebody has wilfully misunderstood the concept of a release clause. There is zero suggestion that Wolves will accept less than £62.5m for a player who is probably worth more on the open market. If Manchester United do not complete this deal at this price – and it very much looks like they will – then somebody else will.

But in this alternative universe where Man Utd could get a ‘cut-price deal’, where do Liverpool come in?

‘But Wolves’ reported interest in Liverpool forward Harvey Elliott may open the door for a cheaper Cunha deal. It is said that Vitor Pereira’s team are looking for a new No. 10 to fill the inevitable void Cunha’s exit would leave.

‘If they do sign Elliott, Cunha would rightly point out that his team have a ready-made replacement, putting Wolves under greater pressure to sell. An opportunity could then arise for United to sign the Brazil international for a cheaper fee than his hefty release clause.’

Ha. First, Wolves’ reported interest in Elliott emerged two weeks ago. Second, Wolves will sign somebody to replace Cunha – that’s how football works – so why would this particular mooted transfer prompt them to throw their hands up in the air and say ‘ah go on then, give us £40m’?

It wouldn’t. We know that and we suspect that the Senior Sport Central Audience Writer knows that.

He then adds in a load of guff about Wolves’ PSR issues – ‘another situation which could play into United’s hands’ – as if that would make them accept less than their player is worth.

But what has really amused Mediawatch is that this Liverpool/Man Utd mash-up was written less than three hours after the very same man wrote this:

‘Matheus Cunha sends wordless message* as Man United chase £62.5m transfer’

Things move awful fast in this game.

* Congratulations to anybody who worked out that a ‘wordless message’ is a picture.

I dreamed a dream…

If ever there was a sign that the season is coming to a close and transfer shenanigans are about to begin in earnest, it is the return of the ‘dream shirt number’. And Mediawatch could not be happier.

As usual, it is the Mirror leading the way into this arena as their take on the news that Liverpool could be about to sign Milos Kerkez is this:

‘Milos Kerkez could get dream Liverpool shirt number if Arne Slot completes two transfers’

You will be shocked to learn that the first transfer that must be completed to achieve this ‘dream’ is Milos Kerkez joining Liverpool. That’s pretty fundamental to the conceit.

The second? Poor Wataru Endo needs to be entirely f***ed off by Liverpool in order to free up that ‘dream’ No. 3 shirt. We’re sure he will absolutely understand. Who could possibly stand in the way of a man who wants a particular number on his shirt?

SportsMole then take up the baton:

‘Jeremie Frimpong ‘to complete Liverpool medical on Monday’ as £29.5m right-back prepares to take dream shirt number’

It’s the No. 30, guys. No f***er dreams of the No. 30.

Coulda woulda shoulda

Obviously Liverpool’s spending will not end there. Because why should it?

‘Liverpool could spend another £170m on three players after Jeremie Frimpong transfer’ – Express.

They certainly ‘could’.