From Grindr to Scruff: The best dating apps for gay, bi, and queer men
Overview
Best Grindr alternative
Scruff
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Best dating app for bears
GROWLR
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Best for serious relationships
Archer
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Most people have at least one horror story about online dating. It’s a rite of passage â one that single people love to hate.
But the horror stories look a little different for members of the LGBTQ+ community. For gay men, online dating throws a unique set of challenges into the mix. On top of the usual woes, such as ghosting and catfishing, you might encounter unnecessary questioning about your past, straight guys who shouldn’t be in your feed, and even some not-so-subtle fetishization. Not exactly the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling we’re all after, right?
Despite the BS, the best gay dating apps have helped millions of men make meaningful connections (and find saucy hookups too).
According to the Pew Research Center, about one-quarter of LGBTQ+ adults say they met their match through online dating. The problem? Not all dating apps are created equal, especially for the LGBTQ+ community.
What is the best gay dating app?While Grindr is a big name, there are other options that cater to the specific needs and preferences of gay men.
“Grindr is a tried and true app that many queer men gravitate toward to find partners or for relationships that require lesser commitment, so itâs easy to point to it as the #1 app,” Michelle Herzog, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells Mashable. “However, like Tinder, itâs gained a reputation as a hookup app â but that doesnât mean there still arenât men looking for long-term commitments, either.”
Sometimes going for a popular dating app can be your best bet since that’s where queer users tend to mingle in the biggest numbers. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn’t just a straight people thing (especially for those of us who live in less-populated areas where Grindr and Scruff offer slim pickings). You can also try niche dating sites if you tend to like a certain type of man, but in general, the more popular apps offer the greatest chance of success.
Plus, some mainstream apps deserve credit for trying to create a more inclusive atmosphere. OkCupid gets kudos for embracing change and making social justice a core part of its compatibility scoring.
Whether you’re looking for something serious, a hookup, something that stays strictly online, or an altogether different definition of connection, there’s an ideal queer dating app out there for you. Here’s a breakdown of the best dating apps for gay men to help you find your perfect match.
Our Pick
Who it’s for:Grindr is a popular gay dating app for hookups and casual encounters. It’s mostly for gay men who are looking to get laid within the hour (so, an alternative to Tinder).
Although bi, trans, and queer people are welcome on the app, the majority of users are gay men.
Why we picked this:Grindr is the gay dating app for men, but the company also advocates for the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. Grindr has conducted some pretty illuminating research about its international users: Leading to The Grindr for Equality campaign, which advocates for the sexual health and safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries. Props for that.
And, in February 2024, Grindr launched a sex-focused podcast titled âWhoâs The Asshole?â with RuPaulâs Drag Race alum Katya Zamolodchikova, according to Variety. The first episode aired on Feb. 15, so give it a listen while you’re waiting for your latest Grindr date to arrive.
Instead of swiping to match, you’ll get a collage of people who are close location-wise. As soon as you hop on the app, it’s obvious that there are tons of men out there waiting to talk (confirming that whole “many fish in the sea” thing).
Do note that Grindr lacks the boundaries other apps provide â most users just looking to hook up will let you know that they’re not in it for small talk. (That warning may come in the form of a dick pic and not in as many words.) The app has a history of not being so welcoming to bisexual users, and it isn’t exactly known for being free from racism, either.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships â a lot of men meet their forever person on Grindr â but on the surface, it’s a tool for a quick, casual hookup. FWIW, men in small towns with a meager queer population are more likely to find a connection here than on Tinder or OkCupid.
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Scruff
Best Grindr alternative
Who it’s for:Despite its name, Scruff isn’t just for scruffy men. There are plenty of gay guys here, from clean-cut jocks to those with a more rugged look. Whether you’re into bears, twinks, otters, or any other type of guy, Scruff has a diverse user base that’s large enough to rival Grindr’s.
The only difference? Scruff is a little more serious in terms of what people are looking for. Sure, it’s good for hookups, but you probably won’t get the same level of raunchiness (or as much) as you would on Grindr.
Why we picked this:Grindr may be the most well-known and widely used dating app for gay men, but Scruff is a great alternative for those looking for something a little more serious.
Unlike Grindr (or Sniffies), you probably won’t get NSFW DMs right off the bat. Though it’s possible, this app has a rep for attracting users who might want to take things to the next level â like going on a date and seeing where things lead.
There are tons of premium features with a paid membership (which starts at $16.99 per month), like the ability to un-send messages, unlimited looks, and access to advanced search features.
Scruff isn’t just for dating, either. You can find local LGBTQ+ events, parties, and gatherings on Scruff. (Thanks to its geolocation feature, it’s also pretty good for finding a hookup while traveling.)
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GROWLR
Best dating app for bears
Who it’s for:As the name implies, GROWLR is a gay dating app for bears and bear lovers. Although not as popular as Grindr or Scruff, GROWLR provides a niche platform for men interested in bear culture.
It also has more than 10 million users, so you’re bound to find someone to roughhouse with or snuggle up to.
Why we picked this:Most dating apps are superficial and focus on appearance, but GROWLR is for bears who appreciate a more rugged and traditionally masculine aesthetic. That’s not to say you can’t find other types of guys on GROWLR, but it definitely caters to a specific subset of the gay community.
GROWLR offers live streaming, a unique feature most dating apps don’t offer (and you can use this feature for free). The app also has some paid features, like SHOUT!, which allows you to send customized messages to multiple users in one go. (The app also says you can promote your business via this feature, but that seems kind of cringe on a dating app.)
The only thing we’d like to mention is that the GROWLR interface is super dated, and thus not as user-friendly as the other apps on this list. But if you’re looking for a community of hot, hairy men, GROWLR is definitely worth checking out.
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Archer
Best for serious relationships
Who it’s for: Archer is a free dating app for gay, bisexual, and queer men. Owned by Match Group, Archer is a “social-first” dating app that prioritizes building meaningful connections through shared interests and values. It’s the relationship-focused alternative to hookup-centric apps like Grindr.
It’s the best dating app option for bisexual and queer men who are looking for more than just casual encounters and offers a safer space to explore their sexuality and talk about HIV status. (But don’t just take our word for it; Brooklyn’s resident bi-man and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, Zachary Zane, recommends giving Archer a try for its inclusive and relationship-oriented approach.)
Why we picked this: Even though Archer is a newer app, it’s already gaining a reputation as one of the best gay dating apps for queer men looking for serious relationships. According to estimates from market intelligence firm Sensor Tower, as of May 3, 2024, it’s garnered more than 685,000 downloads. Unlike its NSFW competitor Grindr, Archer focuses on creating an inclusive and respectful space for gay, bisexual, and queer men to connect on a deeper level.
If you’re looking for a hookup, you can toggle from “Dating Mode” to “Hookup Mode.” According to company stats, nearly 66 percent of its users are looking for dates and relationships, while 74 percent are interested in community and friendship.
It’s totally free to download and use, so you’ll never be bothered with annoying subscription fees or limited features. With Archer, you can use a Smart-Blur filter to keep you from seeing raunchy content until you’re ready, and there’s a Selfie-Verify feature for added security and authenticity.
In addition to these features, Archer is working toward making STI, PrEP awareness, and sexual health education a priority within the app via the Health Hub.
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Who it’s for:Sniffies is a map-based meetup site for gay and bi cruisers who are looking to add a little fun to their day. This site isn’t for finding a relationship; it’s for men seeking men who are interested in casual encounters and spontaneous meetups.
Why we picked this:Tinder and Grindr aren’t the only ways to get laid in the gay community. And with this web-based hookup site, you don’t even need to download an app to get some action. Even Zane has mentioned Sniffies in his risquĂ© articles â it’s a place where you’re more likely to get messages like “Chilling. Here, just trying to get fisted” instead of vanilla DMs that beat around the bush.
Users are here for one reason and one reason only: casual, anonymous, hot, and raunchy encounters. As of April 30, 2024, the company added “Cruiser Filters,” which allow you to filter your search by age, preferred sexual positions, endowment size, body type, and sexuality.
The site is totally free to use, but you can pay for premium features like unlimited messaging and advanced search options. Some safety features, like cruising spots, are also in place, so you don’t have to meet up somewhere private with a stranger you don’t know.
Those who use the site often can add a hosting status to their profile, which shows how active they are in the community. You can also message and video chat with other members directly on the site.
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OkCupid
Best dating app for liberals
Who it’s for:OkCupid’s slogan is “Dating deserves better,” and they’re damn right â especially for the gays and the theys. Though it’s open to gay and straight people, the veteran dating site has shed the heteronormativity that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It’s hip and well-informed while also maintaining a more intentional atmosphere than Grindr or Tinder.
Time and time again, OkCupid proves to be the blueprint for inclusivity in online dating. In 2014, OKC rolled out 22 gender and 13 orientation choices â years before such changes became a priority for competing sites. As of summer 2020, all users can choose their pronouns.
Why we picked this:OkCupid didn’t just give their app a fresh coat of paint; our testers found that the redesigned app is genuinely more fun to use. Their focus on issues that matter to young daters (especially those who lean left) is refreshing and practical.
With OkCupid’s compatibility filters for everything from gun control to vaccination views, you’ll bypass awkward first-date debates. You can also search for same-sex matches and filter by specific interests, making it easier to find guys who share your interests and passions.
OkCupid’s profile features let you showcase your personality (not just your looks). Whether you’re into gaming, activism, or obsessing over the latest drag queens, there’s room to find your person or community on OKC.
Read our full review of OkCupid.
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Tinder
Most popular dating app
Who it’s for:Of the 75 million people who actively use Tinder each month, not all are straight dudes holding up fish. Queer and trans folks head to Tinder because its dating pool is colossal â almost as colossal as queer people’s collective yearning for authentic connection (real).
Tinder pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function: Revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting billions of swipes per day. You’ll probably see your neighbor or even someone you work with on the app. (Awkward! Predictable!) However, if you’ve exhausted your chances with all of the queer people you know in real life, this is probably where you can find the highest number of gay locals â especially in smaller towns.
Why we picked this:Despite all this, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more inclusive by partnering with GLAAD to personalize swiping (e.g., “show me, people of the same identity, first”) and ensure it better meets the diverse needs of the trans community. With more than 40+ gender options, users can feel more confident swiping through potential matches. And, with the app’s Relationship Goals feature, members can display a badge on their profile to let the world know what it is they’re looking for.
In February, the company released a new feature to stop inappropriate messages by sending in-app warnings to users who engage in offensive or disrespectful behavior. Those who receive multiple warnings may face consequences such as being kicked off the app.
Read our review of Tinder Platinum.
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We regularly test dating sites and apps to provide our readers with the most up-to-date and accurate information. We also thoroughly investigate the features and functionality of each app to ensure we’re giving a comprehensive review, from signing up to the actual user experience.
We test these platforms by creating profiles â some complete and others blank â to see how each app and site handles different levels of info from users. So, if hundreds of matches are generated with incomplete profiles, we take note (as it may indicate a lack of quality control or an excess of bots and fake users).
Additionally, we consider the diversity and inclusivity of each platform we’re testing, including whether or not it caters to the LGBTQ+ community. That’s especially important when we’re evaluating dating apps for queer women, men, and non-binary folks. Apps on this list with linked reviews have been hands-on tested by Mashable staff writers or freelance writers with years of experience writing about sex and relationships.
Leah Stodart is a Philadelphia-based Senior Shopping Reporter at Mashable where she covers essential home tech like vacuums and TVs as well as sustainable swaps and travel. Her ever-growing experience in these categories comes in clutch when making recommendations on how to spend your money during shopping holidays like Black Friday, which Leah has been covering for Mashable since 2017.
Leah graduated from Penn State University in 2016 with dual degrees in Sociology and Media Studies. When she’s not writing about shopping (or shopping online for herself), she’s almost definitely watching a horror movie, “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” or “The Office.” You can follow her on X at @notleah or email her at [email protected].
Deputy Editor, Shopping and Reviews
Based in New York City, Miller Kern is the Deputy Editor, Shopping and Reviews at Mashable, where she writes and edits reviews, roundups, and deals about tech products including headphones, skincare devices, laptops, sex toys, e-readers, robot vacuums, and more. She has five years of experience writing buying guides, gift guides, and deals, and covering shopping holidays like Prime Day and Black Friday. Miller can tell you which products are actually worth your money. She also explores trends in the shopping sphere, such as dupes and viral TikTok moments.
Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, editor, SEO & content strategist. Aside from writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor-in-chief of DO YOU ENDO â a digital magazine by individuals with endometriosis, for individuals with endometriosis. She has a Master’s degree in Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism from The New School of Social Research and is a grad of Sextech School. You can find more of her work in various online pubs, including National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.
Stacia Datskovska is an NYU journalism major (graduating this December). Her work has appeared in USA Today, Boston Globe, Teen Vogue, HuffPost, Bustle, and more. When she’s not writing something or other, Stacia can be spotted crying over poetry, making a home-cooked meal, or walking on an NYC pier. For her more half-baked thoughts: @staciadats on Twitter.
