Halsey didn’t look in a mirror ‘for months’ during height of illness because they ‘felt really f–king ugly’

Halsey couldn’t bear the sight of themselves at the height of their illness, which they disclosed to the public in June.

At the time, the singer revealed they’d been diagnosed in 2022 with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) and T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder — but made sure to note they were “being managed or in remission.”

“Sorry, I want to say something really heavy and intense. I’m debating whether I should say it or not,” Halsey — who uses she/they pronouns — told Paper magazine in a profile published Thursday amid a conversation about their secret passion for miniature doll-housing.

Halsey couldn’t bear the sight of themselves at the height of their illness. iamhalsey/Instagram

“Sorry, I want to say something really heavy and intense. I’m debating whether I should say it or not,” the singer told Paper in a profile published Thursday. Paper Magazine

“I just felt really f–king ugly the whole time I was sick. I could not look at myself. I didn’t look in a mirror, unless I was putting a contact lens in my eye, for months,” they explained.

“I was just unrecognizable. I didn’t like looking at myself. It was horrific, and it would spin me out.”

The Grammy nominee divulged details about their health struggles in their recently released singles, “The End” and “Lucky.”

Halsey revealed in June that they’d been diagnosed in 2022 with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) and T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder. iamhalsey/Instagram

“I just felt really f–king ugly the whole time I was sick. I could not look at myself. I didn’t look in a mirror, unless I was putting a contact lens in my eye, for months,” they told the magazine. Sarah Pardini for PAPER Magazine

In the former, they sing, “Every couple of years now, a doctor says I’m sick / Pulls out a brand-new bag of tricks and then they lay it on me / And at first, it was my brain, then a skeleton in pain.”

In the latter, they croon, “I shaved my head four times because I wanted to / And then I did it one more time ’cause I got sick.”

The musician, 29, further shared with the outlet that “sitting there and playing with these beautiful tiny [doll houses] was so much nicer” than facing reality.

“I was just unrecognizable. I didn’t like looking at myself. It was horrific, and it would spin me out,” Halsey added. iamhalsey/Instagram

The musician shared that “sitting there and playing with these beautiful tiny [doll houses] was so much nicer” than facing reality. Sarah Pardini for PAPER Magazine

They made sure to note that it was one of their first true hobbies that “no one was going to try and monetize … or exploit.”

“It was something I could do inside, and it was something I could do that was creative, and it was something quiet that I could do when my son was asleep,” they said of Ender, 3, whom they share with screenwriter Alev Aydin.

Since the songwriter “couldn’t go out,” “couldn’t drink,” “couldn’t be in a social environment” and “was home a lot,” it was the perfect activity.

Halsey made sure to note that it was one of their first true hobbies that “no one was going to try and monetize … or exploit.” iamhalsey/Instagram

“It was something I could do inside, and it was something I could do that was creative, and it was something quiet that I could do when my son was asleep,” they said of Ender, 3. iamhalsey/Instagram

“It was also great for me because I had a really hard time with my motor function. My fine motor skills were not great,” they said.

“When I was sick, I couldn’t even open an envelope, or peel a sticker off a thing; [miniature doll-housing] required me to be focused and meticulous with my fine motor action, which I really wanted to retain.”

Halsey — who previously admitted that they “almost lost” their life to their diseases — admittedly got “obsessed” with the pastime.

Since the songwriter “couldn’t go out,” “couldn’t drink,” “couldn’t be in a social environment” and “was home a lot,” miniature doll-housing became the perfect activity. iamhalsey/Instagram

“Every couple of years now, a doctor says I’m sick / Pulls out a brand-new bag of tricks and then they lay it on me / And at first, it was my brain, then a skeleton in pain,” Halsey sings in “The End.” iamhalsey/Instagram

“I started building furniture from scratch, and then making my own wallpaper,” they confessed before adding, “I guess it’s actually kind of dark when you think about it, because I was making these tiny parallel worlds, because I really didn’t want to be on my own, which is so heady. I definitely think that was a part of it.”

Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that causes the body’s immune system to attack healthy tissue, while T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder is an umbrella term for a host of diseases related to the overproduction of lymphocytes, which are a type of white blood cell that help the body fight infection and disease.

Halsey’s forthcoming album, “The Great Impersonator,” drops Oct. 25.