‘How the cleaning lady saved my marriage from collapsing’

On April 23, 2024, 3:00 AM

Five years ago, my husband and I decided to hire a cleaning lady.

“So you don’t have anything else to spend your money on?” Dagmara heard from her mother when she told her that she and her husband hired a cleaning lady.

In a letter to the editors of Onet, Dagmara explains why, despite the comments of her mother and friends, she decided to employ a cleaner.

How the cleaning lady saved my marriage

I’ve been married 10 years. Five years ago, my husband and I decided to hire a cleaning lady who comes to us two or three times a month. It was my idea. I was fed up with what my weekends were like.

My husband hates cleaning and thinks it’s a waste of time. Moreover, he is a messy person and he doesn’t mind the mess. Socks on the floor were my everyday sight. I’m not pedantic, but I like having a clean apartment. Although I like cleaning myself, I was fed up with the fact that it took me all Saturday to tidy up the apartment.

While others went to the cinema or for walks, I was travelling with a mop and a vacuum cleaner. My husband helped me sometimes, but definitely too rarely. “An hour is enough. We don’t have to clean half the day,” he said. And the scenario was still the same – he helped me for a while, and I cleaned for a few hours.

I was tired and frustrated, and he got upset when I said I didn’t feel like going for a walk or to a pub. We argued about it every Saturday. I was angry that we were arguing about such things, but we really couldn’t communicate. Instead of relaxing on the weekend and spending time together, we sat angry at each other.

I finally rebelled and stopped cleaning. My husband had no choice but to start doing it himself. Then he too walked around frustrated. He bought a cleaning robot, but it only vacuums and mops floors. It wasn’t enough.

Once we met with friends who said that a lady from Ukraine came to them and cleaned their apartment. We wrote down her number and scheduled our first visit. And it was a bull’s-eye! It was wonderful to enter the apartment, which was clean as never before.

I was no longer frustrated and angry with him that everything was on my head. We stopped arguing. I sometimes laugh to my friends that the cleaning lady saved my marriage.

My mother was initially surprised when I told her that we employed a cleaning lady. There were texts like, “So you don’t have anything to spend your money on anymore?” Some friends said, “We will hire a cleaning lady when we have a house. You can clean the apartment yourself.” We didn’t care about these comments at all.

Natalia from Ukraine has been coming to us regularly for three years. At first, we were afraid to leave her keys, so one of us always stayed in the apartment with her. Over time, we fully trusted her and left her alone. When she finished and we were still at work, she put the keys into the mailbox. It was the most convenient solution because I honestly admit that I felt strange when she was running around with a vacuum cleaner and I, for example, was sitting at the desk and working. I preferred to go out. It was also a better option for her because she felt at ease.

Natalia returned to Ukraine two years ago and then we started looking for a new person to help. We made arrangements with several ladies, but we were not always able to agree on the date or payment.

For over a year we have had Maria, who comes to us twice a month. She cleans the apartment, washes windows, and sometimes cleans the oven or refrigerator. We gained time and peace of mind.