I Discovered I’m Not the Biological Mother of Our Son — Now I’m Divorcing My Husband

A woman in her late twenties recently revealed an upsetting discovery: the child she has raised for the past three years is not her biological son. Now planning to divorce her husband, she feels conflicted about separating from the child she’s grown to love. In a heartfelt letter, she shared her entire story and asked for guidance on what steps to take next.

Sarah and Joe met when they were studying.

Sarah, who is 29, feels devastated and lost. She explained that she’s struggling to think clearly due to the emotional turmoil she’s experiencing. In her letter, she wrote, “Dear Bright Side, I’m reaching out to share my difficult situation in hopes that your readers can help me find a way forward. I also want to warn other women who might find themselves in a similar situation—this has been a nightmare that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”

Her relationship with her husband, Joe, now 30, began during their college days. “We met in college, and I immediately liked him. Surprisingly, he liked me back, and we’ve been together ever since.”

Sarah learned she couldn’t become a mom.

Six years ago, we both decided it was time to start a family,” she explained. However, after years of trying, the couple couldn’t conceive. “We were trying for years with no success, and I was heartbroken. Joe suggested we see a doctor, and after running some tests, the doctor confirmed what I feared the most. I’m infertile. I was devastated and felt like my world had collapsed. I cried all the time and thought I was losing my mind.”

They chose surrogacy.

Though Joe was supportive and even suggested adopting, Sarah wanted to experience motherhood with her biological child. “After a lot of thought, I realized surrogacy could be an option. Joe agreed initially, though he later hesitated when he realized how expensive it would be.”

At that point, the couple was struggling financially, and Sarah was finding it hard to focus on work due to her emotional state. When she shared her struggles with her family, including her cousin Mary, she was surprised when Mary offered to be their surrogate to help cut costs. “I was incredibly grateful to her,” Sarah wrote.

The couple was finally gifted with a boy.

“After several failed IVF attempts, Mary finally became pregnant, and three years ago, I became a mother to a beautiful baby boy. We named him Henry, and I was overjoyed.”

Mary remained closely involved in Henry’s life, often coming over to visit and even babysitting him when Sarah needed to travel for work. Joe frequently suggested asking Mary to help with Henry, which Sarah didn’t think much of at the time. However, everything changed recently when Henry became ill and had to undergo blood tests.

A twisted revelation shattered the family.

“Recently, I took my son to the hospital, and a test revealed I’m not his biological mom. I was completely shook. I got angry at the doctor thinking it was an error but my husband confessed that he had gotten close to Mary during the IVF process and had slept with her. I felt so hurt and betrayed. The child I had loved so deeply wasn’t mine but a result of their affair,” Sarah shared. “I couldn’t stand to look at Joe and asked him to leave immediately.”

Sarah is moving forward with filing for divorce, but she feels uncertain about her relationship with Henry.

Now seeking a divorce, Sarah has turned to her family for support. They have stood by her, supporting whatever decision she chooses to make. While Joe keeps trying to reach out to her, she no longer feels there’s any hope for reconciliation. “Mary has been crying and begging me to forgive her, but I don’t know if I ever can,” Sarah confessed. “I still love Henry, but every time I see him, I’m reminded of the affair, and it makes me feel sick. I don’t know what to do.”

Sarah’s story is a heartbreaking one, and we appreciate her courage in sharing it. We’re truly sorry for what she’s going through. This is a difficult journey, but here are some suggestions that may help:

Seek emotional support: Lean on your loved ones or a therapist. It can be incredibly helpful to have someone to talk to as you process these emotions.

Get legal advice: A family lawyer can help you understand your options regarding custody of Henry and whether any legal actions are necessary regarding the fertility clinic or the individuals involved.

Consider couples counseling: If you feel there’s a chance to mend your relationship, counseling can offer a safe space to address the issues and work through the betrayal.

Self-care: It’s important to prioritize self-care. Doing activities you enjoy can help ease stress and give you time to focus on your own needs.

Plan for the future: Take time to reflect on what you want going forward, whether it’s co-parenting or moving on independently. Having a plan can help you feel more in control.

Support groups: Consider joining a support group for people who have gone through similar experiences. It may help you find a sense of community and understanding during this challenging time.

This is a highly personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it. What matters most is focusing on your well-being and making decisions that align with your values and needs.

Another woman opened up about her heartbreaking experience and the events that ultimately led to her decision to divorce her husband. Read her story here.