I Refuse to Wear the Wedding Dress My Sister-in-Law Gifted to Me and Now My Fiancé’s Family Is Against Me

The anticipation of a wedding is often a joyous occasion, filled with dreams of a perfect day shared with loved ones. For many brides, the wedding dress is a symbol of personal expression and individuality. But everything went downhill in today’s story.

One woman shared what happened.

I (f27) met my fiancé Jacob (m31) when I was 21. We’ve been together for 6 years and engaged for almost a year out of those.

My mother’s wedding dress has been passed down for generations, and I remember being a little girl dreaming of walking down the aisle in it. We have recently been wedding planning, and we were invited to dinner hosted by my fiancé’s family that was on Sunday.

When we arrived, we greeted everyone and sat at the table to eat. SIL stood up and tapped her spoon against her glass and said that she had to make a toast.

She then said she would be right back before going into another room and returning with a large plastic bag. Everyone seemed to be excited, but I just felt confused. I awkwardly smiled as I asked SIL what was inside the bag. She opened it up to reveal her wedding dress from her wedding, which was 2 years ago.

Everyone began clapping as SIL announced that this was her official wedding gift to us, and she wanted me to wear her dress at the wedding. I tried to smile, but I guess I didn’t do a good job of hiding my disappointment, and everyone began asking me what was wrong. I tried to explain how I wanted to wear my mother’s dress and that it was nothing personal, but that I refused to wear my SIL’s dress.

My SIL began crying as my in-laws began tearing into me and comforting her. I just burst into tears and ran outside. My fiancé didn’t even come after me and after crying my eyes out on the steps for what felt like hours, he finally came outside and yelled at me to get into the car.

I was so confused, but I got into the car just to hear him berate me for how I had made such a big scene and embarrassed him in front of his family. He sounded so mad, and he even said he couldn’t believe he chose to marry such a jerk.

My fiancé also said how SIL was just trying to be nice and that her dress was more modern compared to my mother’s dress, which looked like an “old rag” (his exact words). I tried to tell him how much my mother’s wedding dress meant to me because I promised her that I would wear it.

I felt like my fiancé’s family planned this and put me on the spot, thinking I wouldn’t stand up for myself and just agree to wear SIL’s dress. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but a part of me thinks I should have just gone along with it and then told SIL in private that I wouldn’t be wearing the dress.

People stood on her side.

“Ma’am, you need to leave that whole family behind, including your fiancé. You just had a peak into your future if you carry on with this relationship.” No_Order_9676 / Reddit”Do NOT waste your mama’s wedding dress on this man. He doesn’t deserve it.” BryLinds / Reddit”Any person who would speak to their partner with such derision, blatantly disrespect their family traditions and CONSPIRE with their family to control you and the choices you make DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING, but merely as a prop or accessory to use as they wish and servant to bend to their will.
This means when you do not 100% anticipate and fully comply with their world view and expectations of you, you will be emotionally and verbally mistreated.” Disastrous_Photo_388 / Reddit

“I don’t understand how people do these things. A wedding dress is very personal. Why would SIL even think it was a good idea to PUSH her wedding dress on you?
I can understand a casual text, ‘Hey, if you haven’t chosen your dress yet, you can look at mine and see if you like it. You don’t need to use it, but the offer is there.’ I guess in some way SIL is trying to make herself the focus of attention in your wedding and the whole family is enabling her. Bleh.” Finallyd***LDnat5 / Reddit”Tell him not to worry, he won’t be marrying you and then get away from him!” hip_hop_sweetheart / Reddit”Run, run so fast and so far. He called something important to you an old rag. This is not going to get better.” Striking_Rip851 / RedditNavigating the complexities of familial expectations and personal boundaries can be a challenging journey. Her refusal to wear the wedding dress gifted by her sister-in-law was not just a matter of personal preference, but a stand for her individuality and autonomy.