I Refused to Have an All-Vegan Menu at My Son’s Wedding

Our wedding day is meant to be one of our happiest, meticulously planned to reflect our preferences. However, Norma felt that her daughter-in-law’s decision for a strictly vegan menu was selfish, given Norma’s family’s love for meat. She took matters into her own hands and arranged for meat at the wedding without the bride’s knowledge. This has caused significant issues, prompting Norma to reach out to us for advice.

Here is Norma’s letter:

Norma, thank you for sharing your story. We have prepared a few tips we believe can help you navigate this situation.

Seek understanding and compromise.

Initiate a calm and empathetic conversation with your daughter-in-law. Acknowledge her perspective on veganism and express regret for the misunderstanding and disruption caused by the additional catering.

Propose finding a middle ground for future family gatherings where both vegan and non-vegan options can coexist, ensuring everyone feels respected and included.

Apologize and make amends.

Despite your initial resistance, consider apologizing sincerely to your daughter-in-law for going against her wishes. Express regret for not respecting her choice and causing distress on a day that meant a lot to her.

Offer to make amends by hosting a family dinner or event where she can plan the menu according to her preferences, demonstrating your willingness to support her decisions and reconcile the relationship.

Family mediation and resolution.

If tensions persist, suggest involving a neutral third party, like a family therapist or mediator, to facilitate a constructive dialogue between you, your son, and your daughter-in-law.

This can provide a structured environment to address underlying issues, clarify misunderstandings, and work towards rebuilding trust and harmony within the family unit.

Set boundaries and respect differences.

Establish clear boundaries for future family events regarding dietary preferences and other sensitive matters. Encourage open communication and mutual respect among family members to prevent similar conflicts.

Emphasize the importance of honoring individual choices while fostering a supportive and inclusive environment for everyone involved in family gatherings.

Leah’s wedding also turned sour when the young bride insisted on proceeding with her big day despite a recent tragic family event. Read Leah’s poignant story here.