I’m Honestly Shocked At How Bad These Lies Are That People Were Actually Told

2.

“A friend of mine, who was a wonderful guy but a bit prone to tall tales, once told me that he had been in a 15-year postal and email pen pal relationship with Pope John Paul. We’re just a couple middle-aged guys in the middle of Appalachia (there isn’t even a Catholic Church in town), but he claimed that one day he wrote the Pope to commiserate about the state of the world, and he actually got a lengthy, handwritten response. Thus, their pen pal communications grew from there. I love the guy, but of course, I didn’t buy it.”

“Here’s the plot twist: My friend did send regular messages to the Pope over that 15-year period, but was absolutely not receiving any regular replies from him. But, shortly before my friend died, I asked him to finally ‘fess up. ‘Come on, man! We’re friends. You don’t need to impress me. Just admit you made the whole thing up.’ He sighs and walked over to his desk, pulled out a lockbox, and handed me a faded letter postmarked from the Vatican, handwritten and signed by who else? The Pope. Turns out it was the one and only response to his original letter. He was so amazed he got a response that he grew to believe that they were besties. When I asked, ‘Well, did the fact that you never got any further replies not tell you something?’ He shrugged and said, ‘Well, he was a pretty busy guy.'”

—Anonymous

6.

“I grew up outside of NYC and went to college in upstate NY. I was driving back to school after a break and took some classmates, who happened to live in NYC, back with me. I drove the first half of the five-hour trip, until at a gas stop, a friend offered to drive. We all got in after refueling, and she pulled out of the station, narrowly missing the pump. Then, as we took the circular ramp to get back onto the highway, she was ping-ponging back and forth, almost hitting the guard rail each time. Turns out, being born and raised in NYC, not only did she not have a driver’s license, she’d never even driven a car. She was finally able to pull over and stop once we all started screaming for our lives.”

—edgybunny55

8.

“While my husband’s buddy was going through a divorce, he asked us to watch his dog Daisy occasionally while he looked for a new place. We were watching Daisy more and seeing him less, but she was no trouble. One day, a mutual friend came over for a BBQ, put down his six-pack, pointed at the dog, and gasped, ‘Is that Daisy? I thought she was dead!’ Turns out our friend had lied to many people, including his ex-wife, that his dog was dead, and he was using us to cover it up.”

—Anonymous

10.

“I was hanging out with this guy in the military. He kept wanting to be exclusive, but I got weird vibes that I couldn’t put my finger on. Over a few weeks’ time, I heard the most bizarre lies that he swore were true. He was riding a motorcycle and thrown off on a gravel road, landed on his back, and had to be life-flighted because all the skin was ripped off. He ended up needing a full back skin graft. I’m not one to question people’s traumatic events, and he was really talking up this accident like it was the coolest thing ever, so I asked to see how his back healed. There was not a single scar or skin texture change or anything to suggest he had any type of surgery. He kept going on to say how his wife left him because of it, and blah blah blah. I found out he was still married and stepping out on her repeatedly. It was the most bizarre, overly-detailed lie I’ve ever heard.”

—Anonymous

11.

“My ex-girlfriend claimed her bestie was a Greek royal. Her best friend, once we met, was obviously Scottish or Irish, but I didn’t want to say anything. Fast forward three months: We hang out, and when we’re alone, I ask if she’s from Greece like my girlfriend. She laughed and said, ‘No, silly. I was born in Galway and raised for two years in Edinburgh. Then, I moved to the US for college. That’s how I met [my girlfriend’s named].’ I asked my girlfriend why she said her bestie was a Greek princess, and she said, ‘It’s my truth.’ She also tried to make me feel bad for asking. Why on earth would someone lie about that?”

—Anonymous

14.

“I have one friend who constantly tells outrageous stories for absolutely no reason. There are two stories that stick out when I immediately think of how wild his imagination is. The first one is that he was pulled over by CHP while driving from Las Vegas to San Diego very late at night. He claimed to be going over 100 MPH and was also drunk. When the officer approached the vehicle, my friend claims he rolled down his window, cursed at the cop for inconveniencing him, then sped off. The officer apparently did not pursue my friend because he was so intimidated from the verbal lashing.”

“The second story is that he was on a vacation in Costa Rica and his appendix burst, which required emergency surgery. He was helicoptered in to the closest hospital because he was in a remote part of the jungle while participating in a group activity. But, because it’s not a first-world country, he claims the doctors used rusty tools in an unsanitary environment. They also gave him enough pain medication to kill him, but he was so tough, he lived through it. I try to avoid that friend when I can, for obvious reasons.”

—Anonymous

17.

“I went on a first (and last) date with a guy who was 29. In addition to telling me he was a wildly successful investor, he claimed that the prior year, he had adopted two little girls, ages 4 and 6, who had been orphaned after their parents died. He claimed that he just wanted to give them a good life, so he bought them lots of toys because he’s so wealthy. Thinking that no adoption agency in the world would give two young girls to a random, single, 29-year-old man, I asked if he had wanted kids for a while and what the adoption process was like. He claimed that he just did it on a whim. Sir, it takes at least a year of intensive interviews and applications and red tape to even be considered as an adoptive parent, and you’re making it sound like you went to the animal shelter and just picked up a couple little humans. Absolutely not.”

—Anonymous

19.

And: “I had a coworker, K, who, for years, would tell the most obvious lies. I never called him out, although I was dying to, since we were just coworkers and it wouldn’t have been worth it. Where do I start? He said one time he was going house hunting with his fiancée, who fell in love with a house. During the open house, he heard a man express interest in purchasing. So, according to K, he followed the man outside, wrote down his license plate number, went to his local police station, and used their system to look up the man’s information. K then went on Facebook to find him, messaged the man, and said he was not allowed to put an offer on the house because K was going to. And, the man agreed to bow out.”

“Also while house hunting, K spoke directly to the owner of the house, and the owner was so charmed, they knocked the price down $100k, just for him! It was weird because he never ended up getting the house…almost as if it never happened! 

I think my favorite lie, however, was when he ‘applied to work for the FBI,’ and his story behind that. He went through the whole process to be an agent, reaching a round of panel interviews. He said the people who interviewed him were just so impressed by his resume and his interviewing skills. At one point, I guess they asked about illegal activities, and per K, he made a ‘joke’ that he considered every first date with a woman illegal because it was basically sex work since he would pay for the date and well, after, there would be intimacy. The joke was apparently a huge hit, and they guaranteed him a job. I followed up, and he never got the job. Almost as if…it never happened.

Okay, wait, one more. This might be the most obvious lie. When he and his fiancée took their newborn daughter to her 30-day pediatrician appointment, I kid you not, he tried to convince me that his daughter not only took her first steps, but walked across the entire exam room. And their pediatrician was exclaiming that they’ve never seen anything like it in their lives!!!!”

—Anonymous