Jennifer Lopez Talks Being on Her Own Post-Split From Ben Affleck: ‘It’s F-cking Hard!’

Jennifer Lopez is opening up about life post-divorce, and if you thought she made breakups look easy, well, it wasn’t.

Speaking to Nikki Glaser for Interview, Lopez shared that she’s had a hard time learning how to be single and how to be happy on her own. Because, as Ru Paul says, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anybody else?

“You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own,” Lopez said. “I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’” When Glaser asked if that was hard, Lopez didn’t hold back.

“Yes, it’s fucking hard!” She continued, “Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, ‘No, I’m actually good.’”

Jennifer Lopez officially filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on August 20, exactly two years after their wedding celebration in Georgia, and 20 years after calling off their first engagement in 2004.