Jimmy Fallon Says Next Year, the Turkeys Trump Pardons Will Be Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani

November 25, 2024 @ 9:47 PM

In his monologue on Monday, Jimmy Fallon used the annual tradition in which the President pardons a turkey as a metaphor for the current political situation. Particularly for Democrats still feeling wiped out after the recent election unpleasantness.

“President Biden pardoned two turkeys from Minnesota named peach and blossom,” Fallon explained. “Those aren’t Turkey names. Peach and blossom sound like these special guests at a bachelor party. Hey guys, the doorbell is ringing, I guess. Hey, peach and blossom, come on in here.”

“Thanksgiving isn’t for three more days, but the turkeys looked at Biden and said, We better get this done,” Fallon continued. “Yep, Biden promised that the turkeys would not get killed this November. Democrats were like, hey, that’s what you said to us.”

Fallon added that he hopes “everyone enjoyed the pardoning, because next year under Trump, those turkeys will be Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani.”

You can watch the full monologue below now.

Earlier in the monologue, Fallon talked about how packed with travelers this year’s Thanksgiving is likely to be.

“Over 70 million people are expected to drive for Thanksgiving. But don’t worry, because during your nine hour ride, Waze will suggest a route that’s two minutes faster. It’s only eight hours and 58 minutes,” Fallon joked. “I saw this week, two huge storms are brewing that are expected to wreak havoc across the country. You have two major storms. All I’m saying is, if the storms knock out the Wi Fi or TV on Thanksgiving. God help us all.”

Fallon also offered viewers “some travel tips to make things a little easier. Pack lightly, check in online to save time at the airport. Use Uber Pool to practice spending time with people you barely know and don’t like. Get to the airport three hours early, so you’re well prepared for your six hour delay. Turn to your spouse in the TSA line and say, ‘Can’t we just tell your parents we got sick?’ Pay a flight attendant $20 to kick you off the flight and ban you from flying. Get into a brawl on Black Friday so you can enjoy one night of good sleep at a local jail. Accept your fate and remember Christmas is only three weeks away.”

There’s more of course and, as we said, you can watch the whole thing above.