Man City ‘expulsion’ leads Alvarez to Arsenal as £78m star gets ‘dream’ Liverpool move

It’s over a year since the 115 FFP charges were brought against Manchester City and we’re still waiting to find out the date of their hearing.

Frustrations are growing on the back of Everton and Nottingham Forest’s sanctions, though rival fans have delighted in talk of City’s ‘expulsion’ from the Premier League.

In that event, we can’t see their stars slumming it in the lower reaches of the English football pyramid and they will therefore need new homes.

Kind souls that we are here at Football365, it seems only right to save everyone the admin by reallocating the composite parts of that Manchester City squad now.

Stefan Ortega – Southampton

From 1986 loanee Eric Nixon to Angus Gunn, then Willy Caballero (alright, he was at Chelsea in between) and now Gavin Bazunu, Southampton do have a thing for signing Manchester City keepers.

Ederson – Liverpool

Watching a Liverpool fanbase work itself into an impotent rage at the mere prospective injustice of their brilliance going largely unrewarded because of potential financial impropriety, before then having to retract their Alisson versus Ederson hot takes, would be great fun.

Scott Carson – Real Madrid

Obviously.

Kyle Walker – Bayern Munich

May well be tempted again having supposedly ‘said yes’ to a move the summer, though that may have been him angling for a new deal, which duly arrived.

Ruben Dias – Wolves

A Jorge Mendes client, to clear up any confusion.

John Stones – Chelsea

Pochettino wanted to sign Stones from Everton while at Spurs and despite spending over £200m+ on centre-backs in the last couple of seasons, Chelsea need a couple more, and some experience wouldn’t go amiss.

Nathan Ake – Newcastle

Ake said recently that Eddie Howe has the “Pep” effect, whatever that means, but also insists they maintain “a very good relationship” from their Bournemouth days.

Josko Gvardiol – Liverpool

He said he “dreamed” of playing for them before his move to City, and that left-sided centre-back spot will soon be up for grabs, possibly sooner rather than later.

Joao Cancelo – Barcelona

Expulsion or not, he ain’t ever playing for Manchester City again, and he appears to be enjoying his time on loan at Barcelona, who will likely be able to snag him for a cut-price fee, with his market value dropping like a stone.

Sergio Gomez – Girona

It’s that, New York City or Melbourne City, which is not a bad choice.

READ MORE: What the FFP is going on with Man City, Chelsea, Everton and Nottingham Forest?

Manuel Akanji – Brentford

The data-driven, analytical approach at Brentford would serve Manuel Akanji’s most-renowned non-footballing talent well.

Rico Lewis – Bournemouth

That really is an almost parodically Bournemouth footballer name.

Kalvin Phillips – Leeds

All evidence suggests it’s the only football club Kalvin Phillips can play football for.

Oscar Bobb – Borussia Dortmund

A short stay, during which he’ll score and assist sufficiently to raise his market value to £100m+, earning him the move to Real Madrid.

Jack Grealish – AC Milan

The place for crocked, down-on-their-luck Englishmen to rediscover their form and love of football.

Rodri – Barcelona

We doubt we’re alone in thinking Rodri would be more of a likeness to Sergio Busquets than Andreas Christensen, who’s currently the man sitting at the base of Barcelona’s midfield.

Mateo Kovacic – Inter Milan

A move that feels destined to happen given Kovacic has ‘opened the door to a return’ on multiple occasions since leaving Inter for Real Madrid nearly a decade ago.

James McAtee – Crystal Palace

A couple of seasons with only one James Mac at Selhurst Park was bad enough and natural order must be restored after a season without any.

Kevin De Bruyne – West Ham

David Moyes will already have the Leon Osman tapes ready to show Kevin De Bruyne how to pass, cross, create and generally influence a game. Do not ask why. Just watch, learn and be grateful.

Bernardo Silva – Fulham

The chance for the Irish father and son to reunite at Craven Cottage is not something Fulham manager Marc O’Silva is about to pass up on.

Mathues Nunes – Paris Saint-Germain

Having come to terms with their top Portuguese midfield target’s inevitable move to Craven Cottage, they can have the other one.

Maximo Perrone – Brighton

A 20-year-old Argentinean midfielder signed for £8m from Velez Sarsfield in a January transfer window is as Brighton as it gets.

Phil Foden – Chelsea

That Chelsea squad really is looking a little light on precociously talented attacking options who could theoretically play as but categorically are not strikers. It’s also quite clearly the place to go for Manchester City academy graduates. In fact, Chelsea should exclusively be targeting Manchester City academy graduates.

Julian Alvarez – Arsenal

The path from the Etihad to the Emirates is well trodden and Mikel Arteta reportedly wanted Alvarez last summer, only to be told where to go. Essentially a goalscoring version of Gabriel Jesus.

Erling Haaland – Everton

Sean Dyche will show him what it is to be a proper striker like Sam Vokes, Ashley Barnes or Chris Wood. Plus the Everton boat could do with rocking and pitting Erling Haaland against Ben Godfrey in training every day would be entertaining.