My DIL Only Gives Her Kids a Shower Twice a Week

Margaret, a loving grandmother, was worried that her daughter-in-law was cutting back on the kids’ showers to save on water bills. When her DIL asked her to babysit the kids, she decided to take action. Little did she expect that her choice to give her grandchildren a bath could backfire and lead to family drama. Unsure of what to do next, Margaret wrote to Bright Side seeking advice.

Thank you, Margaret, for sharing your story with us. Navigating the relationship with your daughter-in-law while caring for your grandchildren can be challenging, and we hope these tips will be helpful for you.

Educate yourself and share knowledge gently.

Learn about the pros and cons of different bathing routines for children. For example, bathing too often can dry out their skin, especially for young kids. Share this information gently with your daughter-in-law to show that you understand her concerns. This can help you work together instead of arguing.

Open a dialogue.

Begin by acknowledging your daughter-in-law’s view and understanding her concerns about overbathing and skin dryness. Let her know that you didn’t mean to undermine her but wanted to ensure the grandchildren’s comfort. Express your wish to work together and find a balance that respects her parenting while addressing your concerns.

Suggest a compromise solution.

Propose a compromise that might satisfy both of you. For instance, suggest bathing the children three times a week instead of twice. This could alleviate your concerns about hygiene and comfort, while also addressing her worries about skin dryness and water usage. Finding a middle ground shows your willingness to respect her decisions while ensuring the kids are comfortable.

Focus on rebuilding trust.

After the initial tension, it’s crucial to rebuild trust. Apologize sincerely if your actions caused her to feel undermined or disrespected. Express your love for the grandchildren and your desire to support her parenting. Repeat that your goal is the children’s well-being and that you will respect her wishes going forward.

Offer practical solutions and flexibility.

Sometimes, finding practical solutions can help ease the tension. For instance, discuss alternative ways to manage skin dryness, like using gentle soaps, moisturizing lotions, or oatmeal baths. Show your willingness to adapt and support her methods. Being flexible can help you get along better and show that you respect her role as the main caregiver.

When Lisa’s mother-in-law offered to babysit her granddaughter, little did the new mom expect that the baby would soon start looking malnourished. The worried mom set up a hidden camera and saw her MIL throwing away the meals she had carefully prepared for her daughter. When Lisa zoomed in on the video, she simply couldn’t believe what she saw.