NFL Power Rankings: Week 9 Edition

Now that Week 8 of the 2024 NFL season is in the books, it’s time for an incredibly meaningful and serious exercise: NFL Power Rankings! What differentiates these rankings from all the others is that they’re THE only truly accurate ones in the entire universe. We use a proprietary system that heavily accounts for all-important vibes. Let’s take a look at how all 32 teams stack up. (Click here for last week’s version.)

1 – Kansas City Chiefs (Last Week: 1) – The team that simply does not lose might be getting even better with DeAndre Hopkins and Josh Uche now in the fold. It’s their world and everyone else is living in it.

2 – Detroit Lions (LW: 2) – While the Chiefs are the most inevitable team in the NFL, the Lions are the most imposing team in the NFL. They only needed 85 passing yards from Jared Goff to win a game by a score of 52 to 14. Insane.

3 – Buffalo Bills (LW: 4) – The Bills have the NFL’s second-best point differential at +84. They basically already have the AFC East locked up with as many wins as the rest of their division rivals combined.

4 – Baltimore Ravens (LW: 3) – The Ravens are going to be fine; they’ll bounce back from this loss to Cleveland. But a third loss at this point is pretty deflating while KC remains undefeated and holds a head-to-head tiebreaker over Baltimore. The Ravens can probably kiss the No. 1 seed goodbye.

5 – Green Bay Packers (LW: 6) – Four straight victories for the Packers. Their winning streak will be put to the test with a home game against Detroit this weekend. Can they overtake first place in the NFC North?

6 – Houston Texans (LW: 7) – The Texans are already in a great spot to win the AFC South with a 3-0 division record, including two wins over second place Indy for the head-to-head tiebreaker. But they’re still on fraud watch with just the 15th-best point differential at +9.

7 – Washington Commanders (LW: 8) – I’d say “it’s better to be lucky than good sometimes” but honestly the Commanders deserved to beat Chicago. The Hail Mary was actually a “ball don’t lie” moment considering Jayden Daniels outplayed Caleb Williams. Not to mention the Commanders outgained their opponent by 174 yards and turned the ball over less. For the first time in a very long time, the vibes in Landover, Maryland are very good.

8 – Philadelphia Eagles (LW: 9) – The Eagles are so back. It’s much easier to believe in this team’s ceiling when Jalen Hurts is playing at a high level. He outshined Joe Burrow in Cincy. Vic Fangio’s defense, meanwhile, has allowed just two touchdowns over the Eagles’ last three games. The Eagles have made a habit of bouncing back after uneven starts to games. Perhaps they’re doing the same thing in the scope of this season.

9 – Pittsburgh Steelers (LW: 11) – Russell Wilson is back. The Steelers are first in the AFC North and they might actually finish the season with the division crown for the first time since 2020.

Steelers best offensive performance of the season (based on EPA per drive): Week 7 with Russell Wilson.

Steelers 2nd-best offensive performance of the season: Week 8 with Russell Wilson.

I guess Mike Tomlin knew what he was doing?

— Sheil Kapadia (@SheilKapadia) October 29, 2024

10 – Minnesota Vikings (LW: 5) – The Vikings undeniably got screwed late in the game but they ultimately put themselves in a bad position where a missed call ended their chances. Minny’s lost two in a row. Brian Flores’ defense is suddenly looking leaky and the offensive line could be in trouble with Christian Darrisaw going down.

11 – Atlanta Falcons (LW: 12) – The Falcons are in good shape in the NFC South with a 4-0 division record and a head-to-head tiebreaker over second place Tampa.

12 – San Francisco 49ers (LW: 14) – Playing Dallas was just what the doctor ordered for a Niners team that tends to regularly dominate them. With a Christian McCaffrey return on the horizon, they’re certainly not dead and buried.

13 – Cincinnati Bengals (LW: 10) – My proclamation that the Bengals would rip off four straight wins did not come to pass. But they still have a chance to go 3-1 in this stretch with Las Vegas up next. Winning the division probably isn’t in the cards but they can still very much claim a wild card spot.

14 – Arizona Cardinals (LW: 16) – Don’t look now but the Cards are actually first in the NFC West. I don’t think anyone truly believes they’ll hold onto that lead but they’re certainly not a non-factor.

15 – Los Angeles Chargers (LW: 17) – Rookie wide receiver Ladd McConkey blew up in Week 8 by catching all six of his targets for 111 yards and two touchdowns.

16 – Denver Broncos (LW: 19) – The Broncos have the fifth-best point differential in the NFL. Bo Nix is coming off his best game with three touchdowns and zero interceptions. Sean Payton’s squad probably can’t win the division but the Broncos could be an interesting wild card team.

17 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers (LW: 13) – With Mike Evans and Chris Godwin injured, the Bucs are in trouble. They’ve lost three of their last four and they have a game in KC up next. Yikes.

18 – Los Angeles Rams (LW: 23) – Puka Nacua’s return ended up being a big deal for the Rams. NFL trade deadline rumors about the Rams being sellers and looking to move Cooper Kupp should be put on hold with LA still in the mix to win their division.

19 – Chicago Bears (LW: 15) – Caleb Williams was a pretty brutal watch as he completed just 41.7% of his attempts. The Bears blew a chance to prove they’re worth taking more seriously.

20 – Seattle Seahawks (LW: 18) – Seattle has regularly failed to hang with the big boys this season. Mediocre team.

21 – Indianapolis Colts (LW: 20) – At one point in Sunday’s game, Anthony Richardson was 2/13 for 81 yards and one touchdown. Wild box score. He finished 10/32 for 175 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, and a 48.3 passer rating. In a game the Colts only lost by three points! There are some serious growing pains here.

22 – Dallas Cowboys (LW: 21) – Dak Prescott, the highest paid player in NFL history, is already up to eight interceptions in seven games after only having nine in 17 regular season games last year. The Cowboys are 3-4 entering this four-game stretch: at ATL, vs. PHI, vs. HOU, at WAS. More losses could very well be on the way as Mike McCarthy’s seat continues to get hotter.

23 – Cleveland Browns (LW: 30) – Oh, wow, the Browns actually look like a respectable football team when the quarterback isn’t absolutely unplayable. It’s a shame for them they wasted more of this season with Deshaun Watson than they really had to. But not impossible they still end up with a wild card spot since the rest of the AFC isn’t great anyway.

24 – New York Jets (LW: 22) – Pretty remarkable loss.

Scored 20+ points
Didn’t turn it over
Allowed fewer than 250 yards

In NFL history, teams are 750-1 (including playoffs) when generating that box score.

The only loss is the Jets yesterday.

— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) October 28, 2024

25 – New York Giants (LW: 25) – The G-Men put up a decent effort in Pittsburgh but you just knew there was always a bad moment waiting to happen that would actually prevent them from winning. Eagles fan are hoping that John Mara was being honest when he said he’ll be patient with Brian Daboll and Joe Schoen.

26 – Las Vegas Raiders (LW: 26) – The Raiders are insisting they’re not trading Maxx Crosby. They should absolutely be sellers.

27 – New Orleans Saints (LW: 24) – Make that six straight losses for the Saints after their 2-0 start. They clearly don’t have a chance to be competitive with Spencer Rattler.

28 – Tennessee Titans (LW: 27) – The Titans lost a game by 38 points in which they allowed just 61 net passing yards. Takes a special level of incompetence to do that.

29 – Miami Dolphins (LW: 28) – The Dolphins blew a game they controlled most of the way. And now they’re staring 2-6 in the face with a matchup in Buffalo up next.

30 – Jacksonville Jaguars (LW: 29) – The Jags kept it close against Green Bay, so … moral win? But they also got really banged up ahead of a Week 9 game in Philly. Super Bowl LII champion Doug Pederson might have his job on the line in a game against his former team.

31 – New England Patriots (LW: 32) – There was serious question if Jerod Mayo’s tactic of calling out his players publicly would work or not. Seems like they responded well and fought for their rookie head coach.

32 – Carolina Panthers (LW: 31) – The Panthers have the NFL’s worst point differential at -147. The Titans have the second-worst point differential at -76. That’s a pretty serious gap. The Panthers are allowing 33.9 points per game and scoring just 15.5 points per game. They’re simply not competitive. It’s all about looking forward to the No. 1 pick in the 2025 NFL Draft.