Paluta eeee! And political matters arising

Times have changed; and so have political choices.

Working towards December 7, Flagbearers and political parties have spent resources producing manifestos (sometimes plagiarized), and crisscrossed the country trying to persuade the voter with ‘Wiase ayɛ den’ slogans, petrol prices, Free SHS, Pot Holes, Digitalization, etc.

After all such homework done to please the voter, political parties realize to their dismay that a key factor driving choices this year could simply be, ‘Paluta Eee.’

Dɛɛfoɔ adeɛ, yɛmfa nkyekyɛ.

Ɛyɛ me dɛ o, ɛyɛ me dɛ o.

Dear reader, please fill in the blanks. King Paluta the most popular musician in Ghana today, is what December 7 could be all about. Songs work magic on the young and old, and generate their own dance choreographies among the youth in all senior high schools and beyond.

At DMB rallies, many are there to dance to Paluta more than hear a DMB manifesto. Unfortunately, it does not end there. It comes with the mandate that the flagbearer himself should not sit idle, but leap into the rhythm, sing and dance along. Invariably floating voters are keenly watching, compelling DMB to sing along, lead the dance, and join the melodious chorus: ‘Ɔwɔ sisi feaa no bi; ɔwɔ sisi feaa no bi’ very much with pious restraint.

Had such trends started at the onset of the 4th Republic, presidential candidates like JJ Rawlings, Gentle Giant Kufuor, and Egya Atta Mills would have needed considerable remedial lessons to get votes to mount the Presidency.

As for Nana Addo Guy Guy, he walked his way into the kangaroo dance after 2006, when Ghana played the Socceroos of Australia, and later beat the Czech Republic at the FIFA World Cup in Germany. Michael Essien celebrated his goal with the Kangaroo dance; later parodied by NPP, and floated by a Go-High party anthem by Philipa Baafi.

John Mahama’s stage skills have not been sufficiently tested to date.

But how many party loyalists have not been anxious about DMB’s dance reflexes to ‘Paluta Eee’ on stage? People looking over their shoulders have sometimes whispered, ‘The Digital man hmmm; his dancing has now improved… it was rather scary early in the year.’ And guess how many times I myself have passed WhatsApp messages to my good friends Nana Akomea and Kwabena Agyapong in Bawumia’s team, cautioning that their out-of-rhythm responses to Paluta, could drive voters away from Bawumia. They have happily confessed their sins and improved lately.

2014. I took a taxi from Joburg airport to the city center when political campaigning was at its peak in South Africa. I started chatting with the taxi driver, a young Zulu of 35. ‘How is politics going here, and who is likely to win your presidential elections.’ The answer was easier than I thought: ‘Jacob Zuma,’ the driver said smiling. ‘Why Zuma?’ The young man tilted his head and then dropped a bombshell, ‘Zuma dances very well on stage; he will win the elections.’ I nodded like a Duakwa lizard.

What local pollsters miss are the little things of life that Ogyakromian voters feel too shy or stupid to confess, and researchers consider too trivial for textbooks. How does a brilliant youth or adult confess they are voting for the candidate’s moustache, ‘the 500 cedis given us for transport,’ ‘funeral attendance,’ or even the ‘marital status of a candidate.’ The latter simply means, ‘if the candidate always campaigns with the spouse at his heels, how can we hug him, wink at him, or tickle his palm at a meet-and-greet? If you ignore this, check the results on December 7. If a spouse will always follow the candidate during the campaign, he should expect all his December votes to come from his dear wife.

In other words, wise candidates rather ask wives to spend time in the market on campaign days. ‘Today is market day at Juaso Nkwanta,’ good politicians in Ashanti should be telling wives.

What does it all mean for ‘booklong’ researchers pretending to do fieldwork to predict this December’s polls? Going to the field, their questionnaire is often pre-ordained with textbook questions. ‘What will determine your electoral choices in December:’ 1) Ga kenkey is expensive; 2) Free SHS, 3) Galamsey water, 4) Potholes behind my window, 5) etc. Conspicuously missing are ‘the little things of life’ that voters are too shy to confess:

Paluta eee!

Ɔwɔ sisi feaa no bi

(She has a thin waistline)

Writer’s email: [email protected]