Paralympian Mallory Weggemann on IVF, Postpartum Mental Health, and Paris Prep as a New Mom
Just six months ago, five-time Paralympic medalist Mallory Weggemann was quietly considering retirement. But it wasnât because the competitive swimmer stopped loving what she did; the new mom felt âstuckâ and forced to choose between being a parent and competing as a career athlete.
âIt felt like the expectation was that I would silo those two identitiesâathlete and motherâand break them apart,” Weggemann tells Glamour. âI didnât feel like there was a path forward that showed how this could work. Weâre still learning; more women are competing through motherhood and athletics, but we still donât have an abundance of representation showing us how.â
Fortunately, if Weggemann knows anything, itâs overcoming adversityâas well as her way around a pool. Weggemann didnât retire. In fact, the 35-year-old qualified for her fourth Paralympics Gamesâand did so just 15 months after giving birth to her daughter, Charlotte.
âI have a whole new appreciation for what my body is capable of,â she says of the momentous feat. âWatching everything my body did through that seasonâgoing through IVF, pregnancy, competing at 26 weeks pregnant at Nationals, training as much as I could throughout, postpartum, and all that comes with healing following a C-sectionâI look back and I see all the ways that my body served me over the past two and a half years, and itâs remarkable.â
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Rob Morgan
For anyone familiar with Weggemannâs story, this perseverance comes as no surprise. After a routine medical procedure left Weggemann paralyzed from the waist down at 18, she dedicated her life to competitive swimming and sharing her own âwatershedâ moments and her story to help others move through theirs.
Most recently that came in the form of a deeply personal documentary, aptly titled Watershed, which chronicles Weggemannâs journey through the postponed Tokyo Paralympics, infertility, and in vitro fertilization (IVF). âOur âwhyâ was deeply rooted in sharing our story in a way that allowed people an access point to their own journey,â she says of the inspiration behind conceptualizing and directing the film.
âAdversity is universal, so our biggest hope was that Watershed finds the people who need it most, whoever that is, allowing them the opportunity to see their journey from a different perspective or ignite them in a different way of how they see the world,â she says.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Now that Watershed is out and streaming on Peacock, Weggemann is preparing for the 2024 Paris Paralympics and her upcoming role hosting NBCUniversalâs Paris Olympics coverage on CNBC and E!. To say Mallory Weggemann is busy is the understatement of the century.
Still, she found the time to talk to Glamour about her experience with IVF, postpartum mental health, and her ever-evolving approach to competingâplus balancing a career in sports as a new mom.
Glamour: You just qualified for your fourth Paralympics! How are you feeling?
Mallory Weggemann: Itâs still surreal to think of myself now becoming a four-time Paralympian for Team USA, but Iâm so excited. This journey is so unique because, well, itâs my fourth Games, but itâs my first Games as a mom and going through this as a family with my daughter, Charlotte, and my husband, Jay.
Even going through the experience of Trials and all that; there were so many moments where I felt like a first-timer again. The excitement and thrill of the experience is renewed in a different way this time around. Itâs really invigorating to be at this stage getting ready for Paris and having this newfound excitement for a sport that Iâve been doing for the majority of my life at this point.
Youâre not just going back; you’re going back just over a year after giving birth to your daughter. How else has being a new mom impacted the way you approach your career?
I have a whole new appreciation for what my body is capable of. We came home from the Tokyo Games, and as a result of the pandemic and the postponement of Tokyo, it turned our normal four-year quad from one Games to the next into a three-year quad. So while we had five years to get to Tokyo, we had three years to get to Paris.
Watching everything my body did through that seasonâgoing through IVF, pregnancy, competing at 26 weeks pregnant at Nationals, training as much as I could throughout, postpartum, and all that comes with healing following a C-sectionâI look back and I see all the ways that my body served me over the past two and a half years, and itâs remarkable.
From a mental, emotional, and physical standpoint, Iâm in awe of what my body is capable of and all that itâs done over the past few years.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Your journey to motherhood and your openness about going through IVF inspired and helped so many people. How did you and your husband navigate the emotional and physical challenges of this process in the public eye?
It instinctively felt the right thing to do because people donât talk about it, but that feeds into this notion of, âYou get married, you want to have kids, you get pregnant, and you have a baby.â Neither Jay nor I wanted people on the outside looking in to not know the truth of our journey. We didnât want to perpetuate the isolation and loneliness that we felt for so long, after seeing pregnancy or birth announcement after announcement.
Plus, the truth of it is that in our society, we assume infertility is a womenâs health issue, but thatâs not our story. Sharing it was really scary at first, and the nerves were about letting people in to something where we didnât know the outcome. Heartbreak and grief are also inevitable parts of IVF because I donât think you can go through it without experiencing loss to some extent.
So while it was hard, we really leaned on finding space to live in the simultaneous, finding ways to make appointments lighthearted. Thereâs a clip in the film where Jayâs putting his gloves on like, âHi, Iâm Dr. Snyder. What are you going for today?â Anywhere we could, we tried to find ways to also just enjoy the moment for what it was, because like many things, you canât control the outcome. That helped us also navigate it in a public way because it allowed us space to know why it was that we were sharing, making us feel more comfortable letting literal strangers into a very intimate journey.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Now that Watershed is out, how has the response been? Have you gotten more messages like those you just mentioned?
People reached out. There were so many messages that Jay got or that I got like, âMy husband and I are finally talking about this for the first time,â or âI feel comfortable talking to my wife about my own infertility,â or âWe shared it with my family,â and thatâs really what it’s about. Even when we were going through the depths of grief and loss throughout our own IVF process, we were given so much strength by understanding the impact that sharing had on other people.
A woman from Indiana saw it on her local news station; she had no idea what the story was, and immediately went to watch it. Afterward, she messaged me and Jay, and even posted how it was exactly what she needed when she didnât know she did. For us, thatâs it. If itâs one person in Indiana, if itâs a collective effort and group of many one people, thatâs what itâs all about. Itâs been really special. Jay also got a message from somebody who just went through IVF with his wife. It was in part due to male factor infertility, which they never talked about publicly because thereâs still so much shame and stigma around it. So he thanked Jay for being a voice for the male factor infertility community.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Speaking of struggling in our journeys, you recently opened up about considering retirement earlier this year. Could you share a little bit about how you were feeling then and what inspired you to strive for another Paralympic Games and to continue competing?
I think it goes without saying since so many women have faced this, but postpartum mental health is hard. If that is part of your reality, it can feel all-consuming at times. I always had this dream of racing as a mom and competing as a mom, but there was a period of time after Charlotte was born that was so tough for me. It wasnât because I donât love to swim; I just didnât feel like there was a path forward that showed how this could work. Weâre still learning. We have more women competing through motherhood and athletics, but we still donât have an abundance of representation thatâs showing us how to do this and continue a career in sports while transitioning into motherhood.
But finally, through the support of my community, I realized that there’s space for me to bring all of it into who I am and the totality of who I am, and I started feeling like I had that path forward. It was a challenging time because for most of it, quite frankly, that conversation of âIs it just time to let it go?â felt like it was being driven by external factors and not having the support that I needed. I just felt like there wasnât a place to do this as a mom, and I knew that my relationship with Charlotte was not something I was even remotely willing to sacrifice. Thatâs where that kind of pivotal moment came of really figuring out how it could work.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
What advice do you have for other women, especially those in sports, who struggle with going back to work after giving birth and feel that same type of âstuckâ?
For me, the biggest realization was that thereâs power in choosing to do it your way. You donât have to do it the way everyone else has done it, or the person before you. This game of comparison is where we get stuck. We get wrapped up in comparing ourselves to the versions of it that we see around us that we forget that thereâs always space to do it our own way. When we create space to do it our own and stay true to who we are and what our desires are, thatâs where we start breaking through.
Speaking from a personal experience, that was the shift for me; that permission to realize every momâs going to do this differently. Every woman is going to do this differently, and thatâs okay. There are a million amazing ways to do this. You just have to do it your way and what feels right to you. And when you stay true to that, thatâs what helps.
Youâre also hosting NBCUniversalâs Paris Olympics coverage on CNBC and E!. What are you most excited about in this new role?
Being a host for NBC for the Olympic Games is an absolute dream. I love broadcast and have wanted to continue that part of my career. Iâve had the honor of working with them in the past for the winter Paralympic Games as an analyst, reporter, and correspondent with a number of different duties between the 2018 games and 2022 Winter Games, but to now transition over to the Olympics side and have the duality of doing it in the same game cycle Iâm competing in adds a logistical hitch, at times, but also an excitement.
The opportunity to a host a studio show, that in itself has been something that I have long put on the vision board. Thereâs something so special about sitting in studio and getting ready to go live on air and know that in that moment you get to be the conduit to bring whatever it is that you are telling to viewers far and wide in their homes. Itâs also so exciting because when I leave the studio, I go to the pool and train and get ready for my moment as an athlete. What more motivation do you need than watching all of these athletes completely kill it over in Paris? It}s like, âNow I got to go do my part so I can do the same thing.â Iâm really excited for it. Itâs a really unique opportunity; an active summer athlete has never done this.
Weâve never had a disabled host in the US for the Olympics before either. Iâm doing what I love while also serving as path forward for the disability community in a world in which weâre yearning to see representation and media and entertainment. Thatâs really special too.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
With so many achievements under your belt, what are your next goals and dreams, both professional and personally?
Interestingly enough, Iâm normally the person who could rattle offn every long-term, 5-, 10-year goal, but something about being a mama has forced me to pump the brakes and just enjoy the season. However, I will say competing in the US out of home games would be a dream. My husband and I would love to be able to have another kid if we are able to. That would be so special to us.
I would love to continue my career in broadcast as a host, but thereâs also Watershed and our passion as filmmakers. For us, itâs taking this season, quite literally these next eight weeks, in stride and enjoying every moment of it. These are active dreams that weâre living out that have been on the vision board for so long. Weâre enjoying that and allowing ourselves the space to come up from this and see where these opportunities continue to take us.
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Courtesy of Mallory Weggemann
Finally, what advice would you give to other women, either athletes or not, who are struggling to embrace their own watershed moments?
When we look at our own journeys, we all have our own watershed moments. Sometimes it can feel easier to say, âMaybe I just tuck this in the closet, I shut the door and I just move on.â But I think thereâs something to be said about allowing ourselves space to move through. For me in particular, mine with my paralysis, I wouldnât be where I am today or who I am today if January 23, 2008, never happened in my life. Thereâs something to be said about understanding the difference between living in the past and honoring our past. When we create space to honor our past, we also create space to celebrate everything we have survived. That allows us the space to honor who we became in the process, because at the end of the day, not at a single one of us would be sitting where weâre sitting wherever that is without navigating through everything thatâs come before.
That deserves to be celebrated and honored, because I can tell you that 16 years ago, I never thought this would be my life. But at the same time, if I didnât create space to navigate through following my paralysis, I wouldâve never met my husband. Charlotte wouldn’t be in this world, and the things and people I love most likely wouldnât be a part of my life. So while itâs hard and arduous at times and sometimes even feels ugly, creating space to honor it is so important.
Danielle Sinay is the associate beauty editor at Glamour. Follow her on Instagram @daniellesinay.
