People Are Sharing What They Think Australia’s Biggest Threat Is And The Responses Mean Serious Business
Some people have a relentless urge to do a SWOT analysis. Thinking about the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of a person/place/thing is really what satisfies them in life.
Recently, Reddit user u/Redditpolice69256 activated this group of critical thinkers in the r/AskAnAustralian Subreddit with one question: “What do you believe is Australia’s biggest enemy/threat?”. Let’s just say that the responses got ~verrrrry~ interesting. Here are the LOL-worthy (but, honestly real) picks of the lot…
1.
“Bakeries charging for sauce”
2.
“The price of KFC gravy has me begging for reform.”
3.
“Men’s three-quarter pants”
4. “The return of Harold Holt”
@makingatruecrimerer / Via tiktok.com
— u/Robert_Vagene
In 1967, Australia’s 17th Prime Minister Harold Holt mysteriously disappeared after going swimming with some peers in Portsea, Victoria. Unfortunately, his body was never found, fuelling many speculations and conspiracy theories about his enigmatic death.
“He comes back and is like ‘Did you cunts even try to look for me? I’ve been floating like 1km away this whole time, I could see the shoreline!'”
— u/ktr83
5. “The real estate market”
@jasonballo / Via tiktok.com
6.
“Bunnings sausage sizzle price increases”
7.
“That fucking spider hiding in the hallway”
8.
“Emus”
9.
“Tunneling bears”
10. “Fake seizure man in Melbourne”
u/thegreatmindaltering / Via reddit.com
— u/Historial_Active722
For years, Reddit users have reported encounters with a gentleman in Melbourne’s CBD who fakes seizures. On multiple occasions, this man has reportedly fallen down and start ‘seizing’ — but he remains lucid enough to have a nice chat with whoever is around. When the person whose found him offers to call an ambulance, he refuses, gets up and runs away. The gent also asks people to sit on his back and hold him down.
12.
“Another attempted invasion by Starbucks”
View this video on YouTube
Paddle Studios / Via youtube.com
— u/tempo1139
One of the pitfalls in Starbucks’ global expansion was its attempt to expand into the Australian market over 20 years ago. Although the company is beloved in the US, Australia already had a booming coffee culture, and Starbucks simply couldn’t crack the market, which eventually forced the closure of 61 stores across the country. Since the fall of Australian Starbucks, the small demand for the coffee chain (and particularly its specialty drinks) has slowly built back up, keeping the lights on for a number of stores across states like NSW, VIC and QLD.
13.
“The bi-annual tax increase on beer”
14.
“I’d say Ninja Turtles are a bit of a worry”
15.
“My landlord.”
16.
“The ibis”
17.
And finally, “Underpants where the crotch always wears out first”
Obviously, these responses are satirical and there are other, more dire issues in Australia’s sight. So, if you want to check out the more serious contributions, here is the full Reddit thread.
That being said, emus really do pose a threat to Australia’s safety. Never forget, we really did lose a war to them.
Have any other suggestions?
Share them in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for clarity and length.
Ok