Right-Wing Heads Are Going to Explode Over the Decision Not to Prosecute Joe Biden’s Handling of Classified Documents

From Taylor Swift’s relationship with Travis Kelce to the decision by the top brass at the Mars company to make M&Ms unfuckable, there’s a lot of stuff that gets right-wing conservatives deeply riled up. One thing that’s absolutely sure to do it? The decision not to prosecute Joe Biden over his handling of classified documents.

On Thursday, Robert Hur, the special counsel appointed by the Justice Department to oversee the matter, said in a report that “no criminal charges are warranted” against Biden when it comes to how he dealt with classified material after leaving the vice presidency in early 2017. While noting that Biden retained classified documents concerning Afghanistan, as well as notebooks with entries “implicating sensitive intelligence sources and methods,” Hur nevertheless concluded that “the evidence does not establish Mr. Biden’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.” A conclusion that is quite obviously going to make right-wing heads explode.

That’s mostly because, unlike in the case of Biden, Donald Trump was prosecuted for his handling of classified documents, is set to go to trial this May, and is facing 32 counts of willfully retaining national defense materials and eight counts related to his alleged attempt to obstruct justice. For these alleged crimes alone—as in, not including the dozens of other ones stemming from unrelated cases—Trump could go to prison for decades. (If you’re holding your breath for Team Trump/Fox News/the MAGA world at large to admit the vast differences between the two cases, you probably shouldn’t do that.)

Beyond what will clearly be cries of unfairness and double standards, there will almost certainly be an absolute feeding frenzy over certain claims Hur made in his report.

Per The New York Times:

While Mr. Hur decided not to prosecute Mr. Biden, some of his reasons for doing so are likely to raise new questions about the president’s conduct and his mental state, portraying him as unable in interviews to remember key dates of his own vice presidency—and even precisely when his son Beau had died. “Mr. Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview with him, as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory,” Mr. Hur wrote.

It would be difficult to convince a jury after Mr. Biden left office that “a former president well into his 80s” was guilty of a felony that “requires a mental state of willfulness,” Mr. Hur added.

What’s the over/under on how many times the phrase “elderly man with a poor memory” will be mentioned on Fox in the next 24 hours? That’s hard to say, but you’d probably be safe putting it at roughly 97 million times.

In a statement, Richard Sauber, a special counsel for Biden, told the Times: “We disagree with a number of inaccurate and inappropriate comments in the special counsel’s report. Nonetheless, the most important decision the special counsel made—that no charges are warranted—is firmly based on the facts and evidence.”

If you’re wondering if was unusual for the special counsel to get into his thoughts re: Biden’s mental state…