Ronaldo and former Manchester United teammate feature on rundown of worst shots ever

Manchester United are represented twice on this list of the worst shots by an elite-level professional footballer ever. Cristiano Ronaldo cannot complain.

These are such bad shots at goal, committed by supposed professionals.

David Luiz

Playing for Arsenal against Palace, our man wins a free-kick in the middle of the goal about 40 yards out. Long-time Luiz watchers knew what to expect as he lined up a strike. He hits it hard, but from the moment it leaves his boot it goes upwards at a sharp angle and climbs about 20 feet over the bar, rising still as it goes into the crowd. It’s so bad, it looks like the sort of shot someone who can’t and doesn’t play football would make. Luiz does one of those pouting nods that tries to be cool while acknowledging, yes, yes, I know, I know, I made a real hot mess of that.

Fred

Manchester United‘s comedy footballer must have thought hero-worship awaited as he placed a free-kick about 35 yards out against Arsenal. Surely glory awaited as he approached the ball, hit it and challenged the laws of physics, because it rose into the air on such a sharp trajectory it seemed unnatural, perhaps 30 feet over. Solskjaer, his manager, looks on impassively at a free-kick worse even than Cristiano Ronaldo’s.

Djibril Sidibe

He’s playing for Everton against Brighton, receiving a pass on the right-hand corner of the penalty area. He pushes it forward and in his head, his shot arcs into the top left corner of the net. It hits the left-hand corner alright – but it’s of the corner flag, so sliced is his shot. It literally couldn’t have been missed more.

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Jefferson Lerma

Back in the days when Eddie Howe’s reputation wasn’t permanently stained with the blood and murderous traits of an autocratic paymaster, he was managing Bournemouth against Watford when Lerma received the ball 30 yards out, in the centre of the goal. The Colombian doesn’t so much try a long-range strike as kick the ball away from him seemingly in disgust, as though it’s an unexploded bomb, sending it up and high over the bar like he’d never seen a ball before. Other players actually look depressed and the crowd think, ‘Christ I could do better than that for a tenth of the money’. Howe grins ruefully and dreams of being the tool of an oppressive regime.

Isaac Hayden

Playing in the Howe derby for Bournemouth v Newcastle, there’s a long-range hit which bounces off the bar, back onto the pitch and under the keeper, who is sprawling on the ground, and onto the advancing Hayden’s foot, who is in front of the defender, the goal open and undefended. All he had to do was hit it at the big netted thing from 12 yards, but he couldn’t. Instead, he directs it left of the post and wide to the astonishment of everyone including Hayden, whose future as a loanee to QPR was thus written.

Timo Werner

Werner’s reputation as a perennial useless flop was cemented on this day when a Mason Mount corner was headed towards goal and would’ve gone in but Werner kicked it out of the net and up against the bar, rescuing the goalward Chelsea ball off the line and scrambling it away. The only surprise is that with such skill, Chelsea haven’t yet re-signed him for £50million.

Sebastien Haller

Not so much a terrible shot as a complete collapse. The striker is attempting to play football for West Ham, albeit such a thing is against Moyes principles. He breaks free, playing against Manchester United, running onto a through ball. As usual United are generous in defence and doing a fine impression of people dazed and confused by this football thing. The keeper rushes out like an idiot, Haller takes it round him and has an open net, when he appears to remember Moyes’ edict that scoring is for pansies and promptly collapses without even shooting; the ball is cleared. It’s so useless and it looks deliberate.

Ronny Rosenthal

No worst shot list is complete without Ronny’s miss. He is on the edge of the area, takes it round the keeper and is confronted with an open goal which looks huge and especially gaping. He’s on the penalty spot and unleashes his shot, which goes upwards at pace and hits the bar. I bet you didn’t know he finished his career at Watford with 37 games and he and his family had their home in Cricklewood robbed by machete-wielding criminals.

Alan Shearer

Wor Al liked a goal and was superb often, but not in this home game against Chelsea. He receives the ball on the right side of the six-yard box and instead of blasting it into the net and running away with his hand in the air, he elects to kick it towards the corner flag. Was it a pass? Maybe he was trying to cross it. Whatever it was, it was absolutely useless.

Cristiano Ronaldo

For the greatest goalscorer of all time and owner of the largest Adam’s apple, he could make some howlers such as this one for Manchester United against Sheffield United. The ball comes down the right and is centred for CR7. He’s standing five yards out, unopposed, with the keeper on his near post. There’s nothing and no-one to beat to score. He looks carefully as the ball comes over, as if to carefully place it in the net…and promptly kicks it over the bar. He looks for a reason his perfection is not infallible and decides it must be someone else’s fault, naturally.

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