Ronaldo responds to Rooney ‘hate’ question as death weaponised

Has Wayne Rooney had a ‘dig’ at Cristiano Ronaldo? Has Cristiano Ronaldo ‘hit back’? No and no, and yet here we are.

We also have the Daily Mail weaponising death. Because of course we do.

Can you dig it, Ronaldo?
It’s an oddly quiet day in the football media before the return of the Champions League and after a weekend of Premier League matches that sadly saw the end (for now) of the gathering Liverpool crisis. The top of the Premier League table looks all too predictable.

So it’s on days like these when we like to examine the lead stories on football websites. We generally fall back on snark but not everybody has that luxury.

Over at The Sun, they are pressing the big red Ronaldo button via a helping hand from their old friend and all-round bad guy Piers Morgan.

‘ROO ARE YA ‘He does not hate you, but…’ – Cristiano Ronaldo hits back at dig from ex-Man Utd team-mate Wayne Rooney

The first thing to note is that the phrase in quote marks was uttered not by Ronaldo or Wayne Rooney but by the publicity-hungry Morgan. Is that newsworthy? Is it balls.

Second, was it a ‘dig’? Rooney basically said he thinks Lionel Messi is the better footballer. Because he is/was. Only Ronaldo, lickspittle Morgan and a few million fanboy stans around the globe think otherwise.

Rooney also called Ronaldo an “absolute genius” and said he “couldn’t speak a bad word about him”. Which, we think you will agree, is quite the dig.

And third, has Ronaldo ‘hit back’? Or has he just said – and we quote – “no problem. I don’t agree”?

So he literally said “no problem” and then – hold onto your hats, bonnets and other accessories – that he does not agree that Messi is a better player.

WHAT THE F*** ELSE COULD HE HAVE POSSIBLY SAID?

To be fair, The Sun are not the only ones who have leapt headfirst into this confected nonsense.

”I don’t want to be humble’ – Cristiano Ronaldo hits back at Wayne Rooney and ‘doesn’t agree’ that Lionel Messi is the GOAT’ – Goal.

Genuinely, can you imagine the headlines if Ronaldo did ‘agree’ that Messi is the GOAT. Now that would be a story.

The Liverpool verdict is in
Over at the Mirror, who never knowingly undersell a Liverpool line, is this:

Liverpool get clear verdict in worrying Real Madrid prediction for Trent Alexander-Arnold return

And who is giving their verdict? Mirror Football’s writers, obviously. Who else?

For the record, those five writers predict a Liverpool win, a draw, and three Real Madrid wins. Does that count as a ‘clear verdict’?

Also, we suspect that Liverpool – third in the Premier League after four defeats this season – might already be slightly ‘worried’ about facing the team five points clear at the top of La Liga.

Or maybe they were feeling pretty fine and dandy until they were told that they are ‘arguably coming up against the best side in Europe right now’. Now they’re worried.

Big Midweek: Liverpool face Real Madrid, Alexander-Arnold at Anfield, PSG v Bayern, Thomas Frank…

Death of a manager
But all that is relatively harmless clickbait fun and games on a quiet day. Until you click on the Daily Mail, who decide to weaponise the death of a man. Because of course they do.

The heartbreaking moment top-flight footballers collapse as they are told their manager, 44, has died mid-match after heart attack in the dug-out

So yes, let’s watch some footballers collapse to the floor in grief while being very careful not to mention the identity of the manager or the players in the headline because you really must always leave a curiosity gap. Even when you are being shameless ghouls. Especially when you are being shameless ghouls.

Stating the bleedin’ obvious
For the sake of balance, we include the websites of the quality newspapers.

‘Erik ten Hag has doubts about Wolves job’ – The Times. Jesus, imagine if you didn’t have doubts about the Wolves job.

‘Trent Alexander-Arnold is now a Liverpool rival and can expect a hot reception at Anfield’ – Daily Telegraph. File under ‘insight’.