Southgate stops Bellingham as Foden problem comes to light: Every England player thwarted by Three Lions boss
England have been terrible and Gareth Southgate is – quite rightly – getting it in the neck for failing to get the best out of a squad dripping with talent.
We’ve come up with a statistic for every player who’s started one of the four games at Euro 2024 thus far to show just how bad they’ve been, comparing their score from the tournament to their performance in that same metric for their club in the Premier League last season.
Everything is per 90 minutes unless otherwise stated.
Jordan Pickford: Crosses stopped percentage (England – 2.6, Everton – 5.3)
The only remaining member of Southgate’s Never Let England Down camp. He’s not had a great deal to do, done it all pretty well and thus crosses stopped was the only negative we could find, and we don’t really care about that.
Kyle Walker: Passes blocked (England – 1.41, Manchester City – 0.92)
If only there was a stat (presumably there is somewhere) that tells us how many times he passes the ball to a teammate’s wrong foot, because he bloody loves doing that. His passing in general has been very poor, as illustrated by his attempts being cut out more frequently than for Manchester City. Only Trent Alexander-Arnold (1.43) has a worse score for England, but the Liverpool man also has the most key passes (2.14) while Walker has made one in four games (0.23).
READ MORE: England player ratings v Slovakia: Bellingham and Kane poor but decisive as Walker struggles
John Stones: Progressive carries (England – 0.00, Manchester City – 1.36)
We’ve had to endure John Stones-lite throughout the tournament so far, essentially all of the parts of being centre-back where he (relatively) struggles and none of the things that make him world class on his day, like bringing the ball out of defence.
Marc Guehi: Long passes (England – 5.12, Crystal Palace – 9.42)
Only six Premier League players to attempt more long passes have a higher percentage success than Guehi (61.3%). He’s very good at it, but restricted by a combination of the obsession with aimless and seemingly endless passes between members of the back four and the lack of runners in behind for him to pass to.
Kieran Trippier: Crosses (England – 2.78, Newcastle – 8.55)
One of the most deadly Premier League players when in position on the right has been rendered near useless by playing on the left.
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Declan Rice: Progressive carrying distance [yards] (England – 87.7, Arsenal – 143.5)
There are few finer sights than Rice barreling through midfield with the ball at his feet and we’ve seen it far too rarely this summer.
Trent Alexander-Arnold: Completed passes into penalty area (England – 1.43, Liverpool – 2.38)
Turns out it’s actually easier to be a creative influence from right-back than at the base of midfield. Who knew?
Jude Bellingham: Shots (England – 0.73, Real Madrid – 2.41)
We’ve had a good think about this and reckon it would be in Southgate and England’s best interests to try to get the guy who scored a league goal every 122 minutes in his debut La Liga season to have more than three efforts on goal in four games. He’s scored from two of them, FFS. If not him, who else?
READ MORE: Jude Bellingham ‘witch hunt’ PROVED as ‘fun-sponge footie chiefs’ target England hero
Bukayo Saka: Touches in attacking penalty area (England – 4.05, Arsenal – 8.36)
No Premier League player had more touches in the box than Saka (271) last season; 17 players have had more at Euro 2024.
Phil Foden: Shot-creating open play passes (England – 1.08, Manchester City – 3.50)
Foden averaged a goal or an assist every 109 minutes for Manchester City last season. He was the Premier League’s best player. It’s now 895 minutes in an England shirt without a goal contribution.
READ MORE: Premier League team of the season features Arsenal trio but no Saka or Odegaard
Harry Kane: Touches (England – 23.4, Bayern Munich – 31.6)
Never going to be involved as much, what with three other players operating in the space he wants to take up. Southgate will presumably (and incorrectly) claim his captain is doing his job with two goals in four games.
Kobbie Mainoo: Take-ons attempted (Manchester United – 2.71, England – 1.33)
He’s been very impressive, one of maybe two or three players to have come out of the games thus far with any credit. But we love, love, love to see him gliding past opposition players on the ball and he’s not done enough of that.
Conor Gallagher: Ball recoveries (England – 1.54, Chelsea – 6.35)
Only five Premier League players recovered the ball more frequently than Gallagher last season and yet 10 England players have won it back at a better rate in Germany this summer. Take that ability away and the Chelsea star should indeed not play for England again.