Stephen Colbert Jokes the VP Debate Was Like ‘Thanksgiving With Your Most Nervous Uncle and Your Smuggest Nephew’ | Video

October 1, 2024 @ 11:07 PM

Stephen Colbert devoted the entirety of his monologue on Tuesday’s live episode of “The Late Show” to the Vice Presidential debate (hosted and moderated by CBS) between Democrat Tim Walz and Republican JD Vance.

And while he had a lot to say about it, his verdict was blunt: “In the end, it was 90 minutes of constant talk that made one thing clear, tonight was like having Thanksgiving with your most nervous uncle, and your smuggest nephew. It was unpleasant awkward, and thankfully you only have to do it once every four years.”

Before that, Colbert ran down the debate’s greatest hits. He poked fun at the moderator’s policy of minimal fact-checking. And he discussed some of the more talked-about moments from the debate.

One of his favorites was when moderators fact-checked the lies Vance keeps telling about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, making it clear that those immigrants are in fact in the United States legally.

“It was less of a fact check and more of a clarification,” Colbert said. “But JD Vance didn’t like that at all, and he kept trying to cut in. So Margaret Brennan was say this,” at which point he showed a clip of the moment where she revealed that they had cut both Vance’s and Walz’s microphones so they could move on.

“Mic drop. Literally,” Colbert joked. “If you keep this up, little misters, I will turn this broadcast center around. Then, nobody gets to be vice president. Do not test me.”

Earlier in the monologue, Colbert, taking advantage of the live show, invited Walz to join them since the debate was held right across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater where “The Late Show” is taped.

“To sweeten the pot, I’ve got a free can of Diet Mountain Dew,” Colbert joked. “And this alternator that I don’t know how to fix.” That of course is a reference to the videos Walz frequently posts online explaining how to do basic car and home repair.

But our of fairness, Colbert also invited Vance — but it was really just an excuse to make a couch joke.

“Hell, I’ll settle for JD Vance. C’mon JD, it’s only fair, I’ll offer you the Diet Mountain Dew as well. Plus, we have the sexiest chairs in late night.”

There’s a lot more, and you can watch the whole thing below now: