Ten Hag ‘talking out of his arse’ and Liverpool ‘a big, shiny question mark’

It finally feels like we might start looking ahead to next season and we have some strong opinions on Liverpool and Man Utd.

Send yours to [email protected]

Woah there on Man Utd praise

Although the operations and board look to be improving at United, with signings taking place earlier than previous transfer windows and a good investment in youth taking place too, I think United fans and possibly players alike are getting ahead of themselves even before the season is starting.

Firstly, United did finish 8th last year which is shocking given the money they have spent in recent years, and if it wasn’t for the FA Cup win, it would have been a solid 2/10 rated shambles of a season, with Ten Hag most likely getting the chop.

Secondly, United probably won the cup last year mainly due to the fact City were still drunk from their title celebrations, I am sure a lot of them probably didn’t care given they won the treble the season before.

And thirdly, people seem to have forgotten how shocking United were defensively last year, the amount of games where 3+ goals were conceded was shocking. United have only signed one defender so far and he is 18 years old. Yoro does look like he has great potential, but he is so young and was playing in a pretty average league in Ligue 1 before.

Ten Hag is once again talking out of his arse a lot in press conferences and the season hasn’t even started.

I think he knows he is incredibly fortunate to have kept his job and a lot of youngsters and players during the FA Cup run and final last season got him out of jail too. If I were him, just train the players as best as possible for the upcoming season, don’t start the season like complete sh*t having done so in the previous two seasons, especially last year, and insist with the board and new members of the team that another defender or two is crucial given Varane, the best defender United had, left recently and the other half decent CB Martinez seems to be becoming quite injury prone as well.

Too much PR sucking off from United and fans as well. It’s important to back the team, but let’s not make take the piss and forget that some of those players and Ten Hag were a disgrace with some of their performances last season.

I would give up on Shaw being first choice LB as well, sign a fit LB and a another CB who have decent experience before the end of the season and a CDM too. But has to be the right fit, and start selling some more players like Sancho, Lindelof and AWB too, cash in and bring in someone new and hungry who are up for a challenge.

Rami, Dubai (It’s too bloody hot here right now, could use a visit to the UK)

Man Utd winning the transfer window is pointless

Interesting concept of transfer ‘winners’ and how they fared but the short term really doesn’t matter. This is just clickbait rather than anything intelligent.

Actually winning a transfer window has very limited benefit, you need to win the long-term strategy as City have been doing with the help of oodles of cash, Brighton have also been winning given their conveyor belt of talent they’ve sold on and not missed and Arsenal seem to have got it right over a few years given where they are now.

Utd have done poorly for two main reasons (stupidity an obvious one that underpins both).

1) They seem to have had some ridiculous need of older players that used to be good and are clearly past their peak (Ronaldo, Casemiro, Varane, Matic, Ibrahimovic, Sweinstieger, Eriksen, Van Persie etc) there is a very long list over and above these. There were actually some that were quite good for a short time but Utd should not be signing players for a season or two with no re-sale value (other than Van Persie who gave Fergie his last title). All they do is prevent youth from having a chance while they get their ridiculous salaries and come with their undroppable egos.

2) They pay way over the odds for players. This has long been known as a Man Utd tax but should really be a stupidity tax (Sancho, Anthony, Maguire), these are the obvious ones and then it can get subjective very quickly. Some of the old guys would also feature here which makes them even more ridiculous.

As mentioned above, these boil down to stupidity, probably closely linked to a misguided belief that they can buy instant success for the upcoming season. They just need to look at the noisy neighbours’ path to glory to realise that wads of cash still took them time to get to a place where they could challenge for the league and even more time to do it consistently.

As a fan, I’m not looking for us to win the window, I’m looking for us to buy players that have the potential to be at the club for a long time and make an impact. If they’re under 25 and don’t cost 90 million then I’m already relieved. We want more Garnachos and less Anthonys (Firstname or Surname). We need to build a good squad that maybe a superstar can take to the next level rather than buying superstars that the squad can bring down to their level.

This season I just want to see us start to play with some sort of patterns of play that don’t invlove letting the opposition shoot as many times as they want. We won’t be challenging for the league but I’d love to see some progress and maybe be entertained once in a while… we can dream…

Jon, Cape Town

MORE ON MAN UTD TRANSFERS FROM F365:

👉 Man Utd transfer: Romano reveals the two ‘main names’ Ten Hag wants as next signing; Fofana price doubles

👉 4) Zirkzee, 2) Yoro: Ratcliffe era Manchester United transfer decisions ranked from worst to best…

👉 The 20 biggest transfers from the summer of 2024

Chicken right on Liverpool

Some time ago (earlier this year maybe, or last) I noticed a guy called Steven Chicken writing columns for F365. Didn’t know whether this person was a longtime contributor I hadn’t yet noticed or someone newly minted to the site’s ranks, nor did I understand whether Chicken was a legitimate surname or some sort of highbrow funny I couldn’t get to (I for one have never encountered anyone called Chicken in my life, but whatever).

I’ll tell you though, as the staunchest and staunchiest of all staunch Liverpool supporters, Steven Chicken’s recent column was the single best summation of the club’s vibe, circumstances and real-time pulse that I have come across all summer long. And I’m across it all. The updates, the podcasts, the webpages, talking heads, propaganda, rivals’ opinions… honestly I devour everything.

For weeks that turned into months I’ve moped about for the first time in a long time not really feeling like I knew the state of the football club. Just a weird time, a slight gnaw in my stomach that hasn’t been particularly optimistic nor pessimistic either. I just don’t know, and I just can’t put a finger on it. And I just wouldn’t know what I’d be trying to put a finger on in the first place.

Things are a bit strange right now, like sussing out what kind of mushrooms are on my pizza heyy. The Klopp era casts an unavoidably massive 6-foot-4 toothy gesticulating shadow as we knew it would, and if anyone similarly well red has coherent thoughts or insights, feel free in sharing. But for me at least (and Mr. Chicken it seems), this coming season is simply a big, shiny question mark. Could be brilliant, could be sh*tshow.

Eric, Los Angeles CA

Chicken wrong on Liverpool

I’d disagree somewhat with Mr Chicken, I think one can predict what will happen at Liverpool this season. To me, there’s almost certainly one of two possible outcomes.

1) They start quite well, the same players playing the same Klopp way for a few months and all seems rosey. Results tail off in the second half of the season as the gap to Klopp grows wider. They finish 4-6th and the fans convince themselves Slot needs another transfer window and things will be fine. Nothing improves the following season and he’s sacked by Christmas 2025.

2) He flames out spectacularly through being nowhere near as good as Klopp and is sacked by Christmas 2024 with them languishing in mid-table.

Now, much as I will enjoy either scenario, I think Liverpool have actually played this pretty well. It’s almost impossible to be the man after THE MAN. Moyes and Emery are not sh*t managers, but both failed quite badly. If (or as I’m suggesting, when) Slot fails, it won’t make him bad, it just means he’s not a generational manager.

From the club’s end, they must know this so Slot is essentially a comparatively cheap punt. If it works out, great, it’ll be hailed as a masterstroke. If not, as seems more likely, they’ve done a relatively inexpensive blood letting and they can concentrate on getting the man they actually want (most likely Alonso) who will have the freedom of being the man after the man after THE MAN.

Lewis, Busby Way

Aye aye aye aye aye captain

I noticed that Liverpool have five national team captains on the current roster: Van Dijk (Netherlands), Szoboszlai (Hungary), Robertson (Scotland), Salah, (Egypt) and Endo (Japan). Are there other clubs that have (or have had) as many or more?

John, LFC

Wiegman should be in the running for England

If a man had won the Euros with the women’s team, would you be happy with them taking the men’s job?

Would you see it as an earned step up?

Did you know women are responsible for trainspotting, palaeontology, coding, radioactivity research. Every one of them were told its a man’s game too. And they were told wrong.

The best-paid person in this country is a woman.

As for Wiegman being told not to take it as it could set her gender back, well, that says more about you than her. Some of The Lionesses had to quit their jobs to play for England as they couldn’t get the time off. That is a commitment far beyond men’s footballers such as the pathetic Ben White.

As Ginger Rogers said “I can do everything that he can do but backwards and in high heels”.

Imagine what this country could achieve if we trained and enabled our women and girls too.

Imagine if women had the same cushion as Frank Lampard. A man who has literally failed in the few months of management that he has had and now does f*** all. He’s being touted by his Uncle Harry Redknapp and a mailbox contributor who has written literally hundreds of mails slagging off the only manager that has got a song out of England in 60 years. Whilst the only person to win a Euros with England is immediately ruled out for having the wrong bits.

Why does it matter if the game is slower, she won’t be doing the running will she? She’ll probably run faster than Kane anyway. Lampard is a championship manager if and only if he gets half a dozen Chelsea loanees and bankrupts the club. He gained Derby exactly zero places in the league table. Not exactly elite is it.

If you are yes to Lampard you are a moron anyway, but if you are yes to Lampard and no to Wiegman then fucking hell something is really broken in you.

Alex, South London

READ: Who will be the next England manager after Gareth Southgate?

Right in the feels

Great email by Vish and something I’ve been thinking about for the last 5 or so years, it was only in the last season that my view crystallized in my mind and I really thought, ‘Shit, there is literally no Mavericks and next to zero risk in the game’. Ultimately, this leads to a massive drop in entertainment value outside of the team I painfully support and watch regardless of the entertainment level.

I’ve been ranting to friends and family when discussion turned to football and I haven’t really had anyone who argues the other way. As soon as you reel off a few of the classic players and moments, the eyes light up and people remember when football used to be risky, creative, off the cuff, improvised, passionate and aggressive.

The problem now is that there is almost no risk, no individual creativity, no long-shots, no tricks, limited unpredictability….. just team after team of timid, sanitised, world-class middle distance runners who can follow instructions like mans best friend. Some are pretty good at football too

Only provably efficient football actions though. Like everyone’s favourite tactic – get to byline > PULLBACK > TAP IN!!!!!!!!!

Funnily enough in my FIFA days, this tactic of getting to the line and playing it central for a striker to tap in was considered a rat move. The lowest form of FIFA skill. The Tap-Across. It was hated and made the game boring. Thanks Pep.

Vish, Turiyo – Obviously everyone harks back to Ronaldinho when making this point and rightly so. Best memories of my football fandom were his peak years. Also people like Le Tiss are never getting out of the U18s nowadays. Adel Taraabt, garbage and godmode at the same time. Edman rocket for Spurs, would be benched nowadays for even considering that shot. Anyone with a little belly but feet made of silk. Adriano, Denilson, Djalminha, Juninho P – We’d probably never get to see his rocket launchers because they’d be coached out of him in favour of mastering the 5-yd sideways pass and the incredibly exciting ‘high-press’! Ooooooooo gasps.

The tackles and passion we used to see, all gone. Just masterful artistry rolling around and agonising. It was funny when one person did it on a team and you could laugh and say ‘what a fanny’, or even enjoy and respect the audacity. It was pantomime and entertaining, we got to see the juxtaposition of the hardman alongside the ballerina in the sniper’s crosshairs.

Now the gamesmanship is literally 99.9% of the players and is just an accepted behaviour. Which makes it dull and highlights how shit it is for the spectacle.

Look at players who are would-be mavericks. Poor Grealish – yaaaaaawn, about as exciting as Harry Winks these days. Only good for his yearly photo drinking a solitary sponsored bottle of beer so we can all pretend he is the wild yet talented footballer the league used to have.

I could rant about this problem forever to be honest. I used to watch as many big games as I could, now it’s just United and only because I support them. The Euros was easily the worst tournament for entertainment value I’ve ever witnessed.

Oh and on top of all the yawnsome running we are so lucky to pay to witness nowadays, just when something actually entertaining does happen……. VAR check.

pfffffffffffftttt (the sound of deflation rings out loudly)

Thanks for making the initial point Vish, been thinking about this for ages.

Moses

Jamie O’Hara IS a Spurs hero to some

Jamie O’Hara is a great many things to a great many people.

I used to play six-a-side football in Powerleagues in Edmonton with a guy who had not one but TWO Spurs kits with “24 O’HARA” on the back. Heroes can come in many forms.

Dara (Admittedly, this same guy once somehow managed to lock himself in his own car, but still) O’Reilly, London