The best dating apps for lesbians — the apps queer women are using to find love
Overview
Best lesbian dating app overall
HER
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Best mainstream dating app for queer women
OkCupid
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Best Tinder alternative
Hinge
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Table of Contents
Online dating as a lesbian can be a joyous experience. Unfortunately, it can also involve having your space invaded by straight people, or seeing your ex-girlfriends (and your ex-girlfriends’ ex-girlfriends) show up in your feed over and over.
Back in 2020, the heteronormative weirdness on the apps got so alienating that many lesbians turned to TikTok as a means of meeting other single lesbians (and it worked). Unfortunately, it’s just not realistic to expect a social media app to work like a dating app for everyone. Lesbians who have exhausted their local romantic options are still going to want to meet new women in time for cuffing season.
And while it’s still all too common to match with a woman just to be hit with the classic, “My boyfriend and I are looking for a threesome,” dating apps have been making strides against unicorn hunting. Our favorite apps now give queer women an actually safe space to meet and date other women and non-binary folks.
So, what are the best dating apps for lesbians? We tested the most popular dating sites and apps and got some insight from our Dating & Relationships writers to find out.
Mainstream dating apps attract the most users — including queer users. That means niche lesbian dating apps aren’t your only options for finding love. These days, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, and even eharmony all have clear filters to help you match with people of the same gender (or any gender at all), as well as filters that acknowledge the existence of non-traditional relationships. Especially if you don’t live in a densely populated area, going for the more popular dating apps over lesbian dating sites can often lead to better results.
With that said, there is one dating app lesbian women should try. HER is an app by and for queer women, and it’s grown to have a strong user base. According to their website, the app has more than 15 million registered users worldwide. The app also emphasizes finding community and making friends in addition to dating, giving you plenty of ways to find a connection with other queer women and non-binary users.
Check out our guide below for the full rundown of our recommendations and dating app reviews.
HER
Best lesbian dating app overall
Who’s it for:Apps like Tinder and Bumble are technically for all orientations, but they’ll be damned if they don’t sneak some male profiles into your feed even if you’ve specified the opposite. Given the existence of Grindr, the need for an online dating platform specifically for queer women was clear — thus, HER. Founders of the award-winning app are committed to cultivating a space that’s “so ragingly queer” that frustrated women can delete apps that don’t feel like home.
Why we picked this: As its user base of more than 15 million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know. The traditional text bio is where you can flex your sense of humor or describe what kind of relationship you’re seeking. Joining niche groups like “newly out” or “travelers” can also connect you with people using the app for similar reasons.
“HER is built specifically and uniquely for the sapphic community,” the CEO and founder of HER, Robyn Exton, tells Mashable. “There are parts of lesbian, bisexual, and queer identities that are so important to express on profiles and connect through that mainstream heteronormative apps will never provide for LGBTQ+ users.”
One of those features is HER’s unique Pride Pins, which let you show off important aspects of your identity (think femme, masc, stud, etc.) and even filter for other users based on those pins — all for free. No other app does that, folks.
Exton also tells us that HER’s commitment to the queer community goes beyond virtual connections. “Beyond that, we’re also integrated with the LGBTQ+ community IRL — listing events for our users to attend together and ways to discover new ways of meeting sapphics in their area outside of the app.”
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OkCupid
Best mainstream dating app for queer women
Read our full review of OkCupid.
Who’s it for:OkCupid’s slogan is “Dating deserves better,” and they’re damn right — especially for queer and non-binary people. The nearly 20-year-old dating site has shed the heteronormative skin that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It’s hip and well-informed while maintaining a more serious atmosphere than Tinder.
Why we picked this:OkCupid consistently leads the charge of inclusivity in online dating. Back in 2014, long before other dating sites caught on, OkCupid was already offering 22 gender and 13 orientation choices. Fast-forward to the present day, when all users can choose their pronouns.
The app’s 2017 redesign goes past enlisting a clearly-millennial graphic designer. For young, left-leaning singles, personal politics aren’t just a “well if we agree, it’s great” thing when looking for a partner. Users can weed out people they’d hate by answering deal-breakers about things like keeping a gun in the house or requiring children to be vaccinated.
OkCupid’s connections are strengthened by an algorithm that picks matches based on how similarly both parties answered questions during sign-up (yes, there are questions about communication and sappy relationship things as well as political views.) A compatibility score plus details on where you disagreed are helpful padding when it comes to evaluating what differences are dealbreakers.
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Read our full Tinder Platinum review.
Who’s it for:If you’re looking for a place to go where you are guaranteed to find a well-populated user base, Tinder is your app. Tinder is often bashed for its high number of creepy users/messages — and rightfully so. But given its sheer number of active users (including queer ones), you know we couldn’t leave it off the list.
Why we picked this:Not many people can say that they don’t know a single person in a relationship who met on Tinder. Countless success stories are told on Reddit when someone asks about where to meet other lesbians. You know the drill: Add pictures, set an age range, and fill out a bio as seriously and extensively (or not) as you want. While the matching isn’t exactly strategic, it’s definitely the app that’ll help most with scoping out the most lesbians in the vicinity.
“If you’re looking for a casual hookup with a wide user base, Tinder is usually an easy place to start,” Kiana Reeves, Somatic Sex Educator, Intimacy Coach, and Chief Education Officer at Foria, tells Mashable. “The app allows you to filter potential matches based on gender, location, and age preferences and will certainly give you a broad sense of what the dating scene is like in your area across a wide range of interests and ages.”
Though your feed will likely be packed with way more lesbians than other apps, it’ll see more appearances by men, too. Tinder has a tendency to ignore filters here and there, though men obviously can’t talk to anyone who doesn’t swipe right. Who can message you, though, are the girls you swipe right for who, surprise, aren’t on Tinder to meet women romantically. Some are looking for friends, some are recruiting a third for a threesome with their boyfriend — either way, you’ll have to do some weeding.
Thankfully, Tinder has made some changes within the last few years to improve its safety features, including verified profiles and the “Does This Bother You?” feature, which flags potentially inappropriate messages and asks the receiver if they’d like to report them. You can also block other users for shitty behavior, which is nice.
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Hinge
Best Tinder alternative
Who it’s for:Young people looking to at least go on a few dates with the same person instead of beelining for a friends-with-benefits situation was a blind spot for swiping apps — until Hinge blew up. The premise and user base might be in the Tinder and Bumble realm, but these three aren’t interchangeable.
Hinge’s unique profile criteria and algorithm based on that criteria set matches up for real-life potential. Some 90 percent say the first date was great and 72 percent are down for a second date.
Why we picked this:Instead of cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you’ve received, Hinge uses prompts as ice breakers to find you connections. According to Hinge’s 2024 LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. report, queer daters are craving emotional intimacy and a slower pace — a “slowmance,” as they call it. And if that’s what you want, Hinge delivers.
“For women in their 20s and 30s looking for something a little more serious than Tinder, both Hinge and Bumble are great options,” Reeves adds. “Both apps provide a bunch of prompts that make it easy to start up a conversation and meet new people, without the pressure of diving into a new relationship right away.”
Instead of mindless swiping, matches are made by liking or commenting on someone’s prompt answers. Prompts range from fun icebreakers like “Two truths and a lie” to deeper questions like “Does hiking on a Sunday morning seem viable to you, too?” You get a limited number of likes per day on the free version, which encourages you to be more intentional about who you choose to connect with. And if you forget to reply to messages, the “Your Turn” feature gives you a gentle nudge.
Unlike Tinder and Bumble, which seem to have faulty gaydar, Hinge users report far fewer men popping up in their feeds uninvited. Hinge users also experience more genuine queer people (and less unicorn hunting) on the app compared to the other big players.
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Bumble
Best dating app for women-first messaging
Who it’s for:Bumble is for every queer woman or non-binary person who’s tired of wading through endless profiles only to find “straight but curious” chicks or couples seeking a third. Bumble gets it — you want a space where you call the shots. This app puts the power in your hands, letting you make the first move.
And if the other person doesn’t message back within 24 hours? Poof, match gone. This punchy (albeit a bit jarring) approach could be refreshing for people who are tired of staring at a list of Tinder matches from six months ago. If nothing else, it’s a comfort zone pusher — and a confidence booster when those first messages start coming in.
Why we picked this:In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women famously make the first move with Bumble. That method obviously doesn’t apply to woman-woman matches, but that hasn’t hampered the queer user base much.
In April, the app revamped its “First Move” feature to include “Opening Moves,” which gives people who are uncomfortable sending the first message the option to set a question (or create one) so that matches can initiate a conversation. Bumble also added additional options to its “Dating Intentions” badges, including “life partner” and “fun, casual dates,” so you’re more likely to be matched with someone who’s on the same page.
You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you’re interested. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature (great for making local, queer friends) and a Linkedin-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempt to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
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Pure
Best anonymous hookup app
Who it’s for:Women should freely be able to express their sexuality online without the experience being soiled by male entitlement. Whether you’re not comfortable with putting “sex only” in your Tinder bio for the locals to see or if you’re simply a practicer of non-attachment with the people you bang, Pure is a safer, hip solution. It’s also free for female users; only men are required to pay subscription fees.
Note: If you live in a small town, you might have a harder time finding matches nearby.
Why we picked this:App rules urge you to “pretend like you’re strangers afterwards,” making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This app is a sex-positive, 18+ safe space that features some pretty cool art — the blueprint of the truly modern hookup app.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self-destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed and any photos sent in messages can’t be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
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Feeld
Best poly dating app
Note: As of Dec. 7, we are temporarily pulling our recommendation for Feeld due to bugs with their recent app update which caused users’ locations to be shared and deleted the accounts of other users without reason. You can learn more about these issues, along with others that occurred due to the update, from Mashable’s Anna Iovine. We take safety very seriously when making our recommendations, and will reevaluate Feeld’s place on our list if and when they resolve these issues.
Who’s it for:Feeld started out as the brainchild of a couple that knows non-hetero non-monogamy through personal experience. Though it was one of the first poly-friendly apps to not look like a pop-up ad, it’s also a great place to find a monogamous connection too, if you’re looking for people who are generally more open-minded.
Why we picked this:Sex positivity is the name of the game here, but not in the hyper-fetishizing way. You can get specific about boundaries, find people with the same kinks, and advertise what or who you’re looking for in your bio without issue. People on Feeld are generally chill, respectful, and can talk about sex without frothing at the mouth. Because more-than-two sex is the entire point of the app, people are typically honest about their intentions right out of the gate.
LGBTQ folks appreciate Feeld because it appreciates them. The app offers more than 20 sexual and gender identities and there’s a comforting understanding between users about what those identities mean. According to the company’s own stats, 35 percent of users are on the app with a partner and 45 percent identify as something other than heterosexual.
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NUiT
Best astrology dating app
Who’s it for:If you’ve ever scoffed at cheesy horoscope pick-up lines but secretly wished they were kinda true, NUiT is the app for you. This magical astrology dating app is designed for women who believe love is “written in the stars,” and it has a truly special feature for gay women — the ability to be invisible to straight people.
NUiT crosses two major complaints off the list: It nixes the need for the notorious “What time were you born?” question, and it won’t force queer people to see (or be seen by) straight people. This app uses your actual birth chart to find matches that truly align with your cosmic energy.
Why we picked this:Remember when Bumble announced it would let users filter matches by their zodiac sign? NUiT is the better version of that. The creators at NUiT know that, for many, birth charts can be a wildly helpful tool in maneuvering the dating world by predicting how well you’d mesh with someone in aspects like argument style or the importance of sex.
NUiT also accounts for the nuances in different combinations of placements outside of sun signs. It encourages daters to use astrological compatibility as insight to understand why a match might act the way they do, but does so while avoiding overly-simplistic “What fried food you are based on your zodiac sign” energy. People who study astrology will be the first to tell you that astrology is a cosmic guide to behaviors, but it isn’t tell-all as to how good of a partner or friend someone will be.
Creators also recognized another thing that turns queer users off from heteronormative dating apps: They don’t want to see or be seen by straight people. Sure, Tinder and OkCupid have their share of well-meaning allies — but the lack of shared experience as a queer person can make or break a relationship’s dynamic.
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Lex
Best social app
Who it’s for:We love an app that cuts the bullshit. In this case, the bullshit includes cisgender straight men. Lex (short for Lexicon, formerly known as Personals) is a seriously cool social app for queer, trans, gender non-conforming, two-spirit, and non-binary people. As the major dating apps collapse into each other, Lex takes a refreshingly unique approach.
Why we picked this:A nod to ’80s and ’90s lesbian erotica magazines (specifically On Our Backs), Lex was a Craigslist-esque personals app where users could post raunchy ads about who (or what) they were looking for, relationship-wise.
However, after its modern redesign, the platform now serves as a digital meetup space for queer people who are looking for community. The website’s FAQ describes this rebrand as a transition from a “dating app to a vibrant social platform.” Of course, this transition pissed off some of OG users.
What was once a low-fi, text-based alternative to traditional dating apps (where users could really get into the details of what they wanted) is now a queer space for platonic relationships.
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Note: In late 2023, we temporarily pulled Feeld from our list of recommendations due to bugs with their recent app update that caused users’ locations to be shared and deleted the accounts of other users without reason. While we formerly recommended it as a great app for open-minded and poly folks to meet, the update unfortunately caused serious safety concerns, which you can read more about here. We’ve been watching to see how Feeld handles the issue and will continue to reevaluate whether or not Feeld should keep a place on our list.
The feeling of what makes a “good” dating app can be highly subjective, which is why we take an all-encompassing approach when making our recommendations.
We actually spend time testing out these apps, making sure we don’t see repeat profiles or encounter glitchy features. We look at what’s available for free, and how the features of an app actually cater to specific audiences — in this case, we looked at whether filters and profile prompts were useful for queer women.
Our sex and relationships team stays up to date on the latest updates from apps and how they affect user experience, so we’re sure to keep that in mind, too. And, of course, we turn to social media and the internet to hear about the wider user experience of these apps. Though Reddit users hardly paint a rosy picture of the dating app scene, user feedback gives us a better sense of what apps people are actually using to get results, what they like about them, and what they wish could be better.
Frequently Asked Questions
For better or worse, there’s no Grindr for gay gals that comes close to matching the no-holds-barred horniness of Grindr. Scissr was considered the “lesbian Grindr.” But, according to various Reddit comments/threads (and a quick Google search), Scissr isn’t available anymore. When you go to the website, some spammy site comes up instead. So, if you’re looking for a lesbian hookup app, we recommend using Tinder or HER instead.
Yes, a decent number LGBTQ+ dating apps, bisexual dating apps, and dating sites specifically for lesbians exist (avoid Zoe at all costs). However, most are plagued with the same issues: Either their sole purpose is to sexualize lesbians and aren’t really meant for genuine connection at all, or their lax security protocols make it way too easy for ill-intentioned men to sign up pretending to be women. (Spoiler alert: Creeps are drawn to porn-y names like Pink Flirt.) If you’re wondering why we left most of those so-called female-only apps out, that’s why.
Taimi is an LGBTQ+ dating app that’s supposedly designed to help bisexuals and LGBTQ+ folks find their person, but after sifting through the dumpster fire of Reddit reviews, it’s gonna be a hard pass from us. Bots, blurry pics, and endless bugs? No thanks.
