Time to laugh at Man Utd is when Yoro is proved to be an ‘expensive dud’

Leny Yoro has done one thing for Man Utd already: Triggered a lot of salty tears in rival fans. We also have more on the England manager situation.

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Yoro has prompted salty tears so well done Man Utd

Regardless of whether Yoro turns out to be any good or not (and let’s remember he’s a centre back, not the next Pele) the salty tears of the keyboard warriors from several clubs have been utterly delicious.

We’ve got Liverpool fans simultaneously telling us we’ve overpaid, whilst raging at FSG for not competing for his signature.

We’ve got Real Madrid fans and their media (Marca) telling us that Yoro was threatened with the bench for a year if he didn’t sign. Some excellent coping with the failure of their normal dastardly – though admittedly brilliant – plan of tapping the player up and waiting for their contract to run down.

And Everton fans – yes Everton who have absolutely zero skin in the game – miffed because we didn’t pay more and buy Branthwaite off them. Even the Everton Football Club have made it known through the media that they’re perplexed by it.

Guys – we offered you what we valued Branthwaite at and you declined. No biggy – you got one of the outcomes you wanted, which I assume were limited to Branthwaite staying or you getting massive Harry Maguire size bags of cash (the second was never happening). Why do you care that we signed someone else? Is it because we paid a bit more for Yoro, who by all accounts has a higher ceiling than Branthwaite?

Admittedly he was in the last year of his contract but there were also three better sides – including the European Champions – sniffing around. I’ve not heard of any other bids going in for Branthwaite, outbidding ourselves seems silly.

Yoro may turn out to be another expensive dud for United and if that happens that’s the appropriate time to laugh. I mean, we’ve still go Antony, if you’re feeling insecure just pull up a picture of him and cheer yourself up. But Yoro is young, has a high ceiling and was coveted by the big boys. If he turns out to be half decent it’ll be a good signing and if he’s as generational as people say then he’ll either be part of the team of 10-15 years or some nutty owner will double our money for him.

And its a coup for the new recruitment team as well who (according to the Athletic) seem to all have been involved. United fans have been crying out for this sort of business for years. The fact that us doing something sensible is creating such a strong reaction in other teams adds even more value to the transfer.

Ash (it’ll obviously go wrong though) Metcalfe

MORE ON MAN UTD TRANSFERS FROM F365:

👉 Leny Yoro is the first genuine Man Utd transfer coup we can remember

👉 Simons, Ugarte, Olmo among Man United signings based on clear current transfer trend

👉 Most exciting Premier League signing XI: £35m PSR surprise joins Man Utd new boy

Ash Danworth has been real busy

In response to Friday morning’s mail from A, LFC, Montreal and their assertion that Dan Ashworth can’t have had much to do with United’s summer business so far as he only started on the 1st July; all I can say is, oh my sweet summer child…..

I imagine that the moment he was placed on gardening leave by Newcastle a Whats App group was up and running with an “Ash Danworth” busying themselves with all of Ineos/Uniteds people and targets!

Stu (a right old cynic) Oxford

Check it out

Slow news day (week ?) and possibly immaterial to anyone other than Liverpool supporters or those looking to take the mick, but I just seen clips of the loss to Preston in their closed-door scrimmage at the AXA… and that Preston goal taken from Formby was a real beauty. I didn’t love the club’s videos with goalkeepers training in silly wraparound goggles, but to be caught out like that makes me wonder whether they’ve got the blinders on in match play too. Crikey.

Eric, Los Angeles CA

ASM with Jose? Really?

Allan Saint-Maximin to Fenerbahce is baffling. He’s the least “Mourinho” player I’ve seen come through my club since Hatem Ben Arfa or even David Ginola.

Chris C, Toon Army DC

More stepovers please

I’ve recent gone down a nostalgia rabbit hole on YouTube, watching clips of Thierry Henry, Ronaldinho, Zidane etc. and this made me realise something. How long has it been since I last saw a player do a stepover in a live match? I genuinely cannot remember, it’s been eons.

Players just don’t express themselves the same way anymore. All the sweet moves we would try pulling off on the concrete and at school after watching Ronaldinho over the weekend have been squeezed out of the modern game. Even defenders don’t have the same thrilling quality that they had over a decade ago. We used to have spectacular defensive lunges and slides from gods like Maldini, Thuram and Puyol. We’d have long hairstyles and hair swinging majestically while the player controlled and dribbled the ball.

We need to coach this stuff back into the game. We love football not because it’s more like chess than checkers but because it’s somewhere in between. That balance has been lost because of micromanagers like Guardiola. I still think a skillful midfielder can turn a game that’s deadlocked by doing something special. I know these things happen in cycles but I sincerely hope that the thrill of individual moments is not completely lost.

Vish (AFC), Melbourne, AUS

Women’s tactics: Not different

I’m imagining the tactics board for a women’s football team with Keith Reilly in the manager role.

A woman at the back pipes up: “We’re playing 4-3-3; why are the front three in the centre circle?”

“Ah, you see”, Keith explains, “due to the lower speed and physicality of the women’s game you can’t play the usual way.”

“But gaffer, speed is relative…”

“er…”

The assertion that the different physical capabilities of female and male athletes means they’d use a different set up or strategic plan is unsupportable.

To claim that instructions to run in behind, press, target certain players would be different – that player intelligence would be different – is bordering on tendentious.

Hartley MCFC Somerset (Carsley for me.)

READ: Who will be the next England manager after Gareth Southgate?

…I have no idea who the next manager of the England men’s team should be.

Whichever criteria you stipulate (and it seems people are mostly doing this rule out people they don’t want), you can still end up with a stupid answer.

“must be English”

Congratulations, your new manager is me.

“must be English, play attacking football and have Premier League experience”

Congratulations, your new manager is Kevin Keegan, because have you watched a Howe or Potter team?

“must have Premier League experience and international management experience”

Congratulations, your new manager is Avram Grant. Or Roberto Martinez. Sometimes there is more than 1 stupid answer.

“must have Premier League experience and have won a European trophy.”

Congratulations, your new manager is Roberto Di Matteo.

Seems to me that picking the next England manager to do better than the last one, who the majority of contributors here wanted gone, is rather tricky. I would not rule someone out just because they don’t have external genitals. The idea that someone must have worked with elite male English players can lead you to some very bad choices.

Oh, and if you’re going to write to a popular website where everyone can see what you wrote, leading with “Suggesting that there’s no argument against appointing Wiegman which isn’t sexist is a bit facile” and then making an argument which is sexist is probably not a good idea. There certainly are arguments against Wiegman for men’s manager, but I’d say you need to be very clear in your own mind what they are and check if they really don’t just boil down to “girls are inferior” before submitting them to public scrutiny forever.

Who knows the right answer? Not me. Maybe Badwolf is right and we should “definitely give it to Lampard, he’s absolutely the best candidate.”

Jeremy (“must play attacking football” also gives us Bielsa which is also a stupid answer, but would at least be larks) Aves

Lampard? Really?

Probably late to the party but the suggestion of Frank Lampard for the England manager job by Gary Lineker is nonsense.

For the record, I think The Rest is Football podcast is generally great and Lineker and co usually speak sense but the whole suggestion is ridiculous. Is it because he was a guest pundit on BBC, the lack of outstanding names or because Gary accidentally took the piss out of Frank’s bald spot on live tv? Who knows.

Frank Lampard may be a great manager one day but that day isn’t now.

I read a suggestion of Bielsa for England manager – would be great fun for a while if nothing else!

Tom

A measured approach?

So barely a week has passed and good old ‘Arry is suggesting Lampard or Gerrard as the next England coach. Give it another week or two and the pundits and English Mafia.. er I mean Media, will be weighing in, on top of all the white noise drivel from the general public (Klopp, Guardiola, seriously?)

Perhaps these bozos at the F.A. could, for once, put down their Pimms and croquet sticks and hire a top consulting firm in to do a “root ‘n’ branch” analysis and come up with a strategic plan for the next 5 to 10 years. We all remember how appalling our medal count used to be at the Olympics until the Olympic committee did exactly that and it changed our fortunes.

I would imagine said consulting firm might come up with something like this:

Current State

– It may not have been “Joga Bonita” but the first goal is to get out of the group stage. Many traditional powerhouses or teams playing beautiful football did not even do that.

– We have been the finalists in the last two European Championships. If you can’t win it, it is the next best thing.

– Expectations are not aligned with current ability. We are not, and have not been for quite awhile, a powerhouse national team. Rankings are misleading. Our current level is a quarter final. Above that, we have exceeded realistic expectations.

Opportunities

– Current squad has a core of young exciting talent. Recent winners at U19 and U21 level imply there is potentially a good pipeline coming.

– For the first time in my living memory, we have world class talent in midfield which gives us a springboard to compete in games.

Challenges

– Playing style at national level is at odds with club level. At international level, England try and play chess but week in, week out all the players play dodgeball on steroids. The Italian, Spanish and perhaps a few other Leagues are way ahead of us in this regards.

– The season is too long and strenuous. Yes many foreign players also play in England but the English game is based on power and pace. Then we hit the national events which are almost always in the heat of summer. The next world cup is going to be in the U.S. and Mexico.

– Did any English fan HONESTLY think we would beat Spain? We collectively had an inferiority complex and I’m sure there were many players with some doubt as well. However, few of you will recall that Spain also had that “nearly team” tag in the 80s.

– The choice of the next manager will be crucial. They MUST have some experience integrating flesh blood, and play players to fit a system. They also need the stones to drop an “untouchable” such as Harry Kane or a players like Maguire just because they played well at the last international. How much further would we have been if Guehi or Konsa had been blooded earlier?

– Lastly, England drums out individual flair in their players. The mavericks, Gascoigne, Rooney, etc. are that little bit of stardust who create that one bit of magic in a game to win it. Is there one player in the England team that gets you off your seat when they get the ball? Thought not.

Goal

– Win the World Cup in 2026? Give the weather conditions where it will be played, this is entirely unrealistic. The same reason also makes the 2030 World Cup a challenge. The most realistic is to aim to win the next Euros in… Britain!

Adidasmufc (Dear F.A., I’ll do the analysis for free!)