Tragedy: God picking favourites?

Rev. Fr. Emmanuel Dolphyne.

When tragedy strikes—a devastating accident, a sudden disaster—we are often left grappling with painful and unsettling questions. Why did God spare some while others perish? Did God pick favourites? Did our prayers make the difference? These questions haunt families, communities, and hearts everywhere. But the truth is far more profound than this common misconception.

Accidents and disasters happen without warning, and in every such event, some survive “by the skin of their teeth” while others tragically lose their lives. The human mind naturally tries to make sense of this contrast. We look for patterns, reasons, or signs of divine preference. But often, the reality is different from what we imagine.

Think of the recent plane crash in India where a woman was prevented from boarding the flight because she was late for check-in. Her frustration at missing the flight turned into relief when news of the crash broke—she had been spared. In the recent helicopter crash in Adansi-Obuasi, stories are now emerging about people who narrowly avoided boarding that doomed flight, while others were not as fortunate. There are also countless stories of people insisting on sitting in a particular spot in a vehicle or aircraft, sometimes even exchanging their original seat with someone else—only for tragedy to strike, taking the one in the “chosen” seat while the original occupant survives.

In all such incidents, it is not because God was playing a game of musical chairs, deciding in the moment who stays and who falls. It is not that those who prayed hardest lived, and those who didn’t perished. The reason is far deeper: each person’s time on earth is known only to God.

This is what the Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3:1— “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Our lifespan is not determined by chance or human calculation. Psalm 139:16 says, “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” From this perspective, survival or loss in tragic events is not about favouritism or random luck—it is about divine timing, which only God fully understands.

When we pray for those in danger, we are not engaging in a competition where God rewards some prayers and ignores others. Prayer is not a bargaining chip to escape death. Rather, prayer is an act of trust and faith, aligning our hearts with God’s will and placing our loved ones in His care. Sometimes God answers by delivering from danger. Other times, His answer is to grant peace, strength, and eternal rest to those He calls home.

Understanding this truth helps us face tragedy with humility and compassion. It frees us from the temptation to compare outcomes or question God’s justice. Instead of asking, “Why them and not me?” we can ask, “How can I use the time I still have to honour God and serve others?”

It also teaches us to walk gently with those who grieve. A family who has just lost a loved one does not need to hear theories about why the tragedy happened or whose prayers were “stronger.” They need presence, compassion, and assurance that their loss is seen and shared. Romans 12:15 instructs us to “mourn with those who mourn.” That is our calling in such moments—not to explain, but to stand beside.

In moments of sorrow, we hold on to the assurance of Hebrews 9:27: “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” Death is not the end of the story for those who trust in God. His plan is just, His timing is perfect, and His love is beyond our full comprehension.

Tragedy does not mean God is picking favourites. It means that life is fragile, time is sacred, and each breath is a gift. Our task is not to guess when our time will come but to live fully in the time we have, loving God and loving people. And when the unthinkable happens, we rest in the truth that even in loss, God’s purposes stand, and His mercy endures forever.

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The author is Rev. Fr. Emmanuel Dolphyne.
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