Why Are ‘The Diplomat’ Sex Scenes So Distractingly Awkward?

We need to talk about The Diplomat. Specifically, the romantic relationships on The Diplomat. And even more specifically, the sex scenes.

The Netflix thriller has been sitting comfortably in the top 10 most-watched TV shows since its third season premiered on October 16, and not since House of Cards has the public been so invested in the juicy inner lives of despicable elected officials. (The fictional ones, at least.) In the series, Keri Russell stars as Kate Wyler, a longtime behind-the-scenes strategist who, in season 3, plays double duty as both the second lady of the United States as well as the US ambassador to the UK. She appears slightly disheveled at all times and is not afraid to put ethics aside for the sake of her preferred outcome. She and her husband, Vice President Hal Wyler (Rufus Sewell), also a duplicitous politician, are well-matched antiheroes.

I am a fan of the show. In a world full of flops, The Diplomat is a diamond in the rough, a rare TV series that has me reaching for my phone not because I want to mindlessly scroll on a second screen, but because I want to embark on a Wikipedia deep dive into the Law of the Sea treaty (a real thing!), the Runit Dome (a concrete structure in the Marshall Islands that “entombs” nuclear waste), the politics behind the Scottish independence movement (what’s really behind its failure?), and so on and so forth.

However, when deeply engaging moments like this are interrupted by out-of-left-field dialogue like, “I want to lick you until you scream,” it can feel like a slap in the face. I’m sorry, but what is going on with The Diplomat’s sex scenes?

For the record, I’m not a prude, or one of the Gen Z contingent who believes there’s too much sex on TV (a young millennial, I was raised on Gossip Girl—it takes a lot to shock me). Nine times out of 10, I’m all for a little sexy time on screen. But the relationships between Kate and UK foreign secretary Dennison (David Gyasi), Kate and Callum Ellis (Aidan Turner), and Kate and Hal in season 3 of The Diplomat felt forced in a manner that completely took me out from under the show’s otherwise unbreakable spell.

Though the relationships drive much of the plot in season 3, the sex scenes feel like they exist purely to satisfy a quota. Specifically, the dialogue during these scenes, as well as Callum’s remark about being unable to touch Kate while she stood on the other side of the literal negotiation table, fall flat. And, if I’m honest, it’s a little cringe, like an overdone attempt to seem edgy. I just don’t buy the can’t-keep-our-hands-to-ourselves thing!

I don’t fault the actors, or even creator Deborah Cahn’s writing, for this dissonance. Each member of the cast plays Devious, Untrustworthy Political Actor with such aplomb that I’ve begun to question whether it’s even possible for “good guys” to exist at the highest levels of government. To me, the disconnect boils down to timing. With just 10 episodes, there simply isn’t enough time to build an onscreen sexual tension that the audience wants to root for. When the stakes are, well, the fate of the entire free world, these characters can’t focus on the setup that makes good sex scenes good—longing glances, playful flirting, coy smiles, all those elements that build tension and anticipation. Kate has more important things to do.

The one exception was the dynamic between President Grace Penn (Allison Janney) and first gentleman Todd Penn (Bradley Whitford). Todd is likable from the moment he appears onscreen as a disheveled university scientist who’s put his career on hold to support his spouse. He’s a bit jaded by his role, sure, but he’s also incredibly proud of his wife. And she clearly trusts him, letting him in on her deepest, darkest political secrets, the ones that make her character truly diabolical. But Janney and Whitford famously starred in The West Wing, another political drama—albeit a more hopeful one—for seven years, so it makes sense that they have a natural ease with one another.

In their only intimate scene together, the president and first gentleman have a delightfully sincere romp, the kind of playful petting of two people who have been in love for decades and return to their most innocent selves when in each other’s company. This one sexy moment is interrupted by a Secret Service agent who mistakes Grace’s scream for something more sinister. But even outside the bedroom, their chemistry is tangible—as evidenced by Todd’s wisp of jealousy at the idea of his wife spending late nights scheming with her vice president.

Maybe the contrast is the point. Maybe the sex scenes between Kate and her various paramours are intentionally hard to watch because Kate doesn’t—and shouldn’t—trust any of them. As long as our antihero is throwing dead presidents under the bus and blowing off the CIA director, will we ever have a scene where “I want to lick you until you scream” sounds hot, not cringe?

Last week, Netflix confirmed that The Diplomat will return for a fourth season. I guess we’ll find out.