Why Kristen Stewart Didn’t Star in Her Own Directorial Debut

Photo: Victor Boyko/Getty Images

A few hours before Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut, The Chronology of Water, premiered at Cannes, she sat down with actress and ex–Sonic Youth singer Kim Gordon, who co-stars in the film, at Hyde Beach. The event was hosted by Breaking Through the Lens, which provides financing and support to female filmmakers, and called for “Cannes Beach Chic” attire, a mysterious code that some interpreted as jeans, others as sundresses, others as athleisure, and others still (me) as an oddly funereal black dress they bought one hour earlier at Mango. For her part, Stewart wore a white Chanel suit and a white T-shirt with a teeny little hole in it, which was perfect. Outside, fans, most of them women, screamed, “I love you, Kristen!”

Stewart was typically candid as she spoke about how hard it was for her to make the film, which she’s been trying to get off the ground since 2018 and which she, at one point, used as collateral for her acting career, saying she wouldn’t star in another film until it was made. She spoke frankly about why the process took so long.

“I tend to jump the gun and say things too early and share quickly,” said Stewart. “It’s funny. I knew that it was gonna have a hard time finding legs, and it did. Very aptly, we had to leave the United States of America to make this possible, you son of a bitch. I was sort of making these declarative statements before I really knew what our baby was. I’ve lived so kind of transparently, in a very welcome but admittedly forcible way, and so it’s interesting that I was talking about it in 2018. I probably shouldn’t have, because most movies are a decade in the making. But I did have to sort of throw a public temper tantrum in order to get this done.”

What made this film so difficult to get made? “It wasn’t a slug line that was marketable or commercial,” she said. “It seems like difficult material because it’s full of secrets, because women — we’ve been forced to hide everything that hurts, everything that feels good, pain and pleasure. It’s really nice to pull the skirts up on that. It’s fun and it’s exciting and it’s titillating.” She’s more than proud of the results. “I watched this thing like, I feel like I’m watching my kid in kindergarten.”

At one point, the moderator asked Stewart why she didn’t want to star in the film and instead cast Imogen Poots. “Imogen was the only person who could play that part. I’m not right for the part. I would love to be in something I directed, and I will do it soon,” Stewart promised. “But it was just obvious. She has this really porous, but direct … I told [Gordon] in car, the reason she got the part — she doesn’t have, like, big tits or anything, but it seems like she does.” At this, the audience roared. “She has big tits energy,” continued Stewart, laughing. “It’s like ‘big dick energy.’ BDE, she has BTE.”

Stewart stressed over and over again how important it was for women artists to trust themselves over the “bullshit” industry politics that would keep them out of filmmaking and to listen to their “inner voice.” “We are consistently telling ourselves to shut up. People will take, take, take, but what you need to hold onto is that inner ear. If you’ve got a sneaking suspicion, it’s not sneaky. You’ve just been told to shut the fuck up for too long,” she said, growing visibly impassioned.

“There’s this, like, bullshit fallacy that you need to have experience or technical adeptness in order to [direct a film],” she added. “It’s a real male perspective. There’s this bullshit safeguard, as if it’s this difficult thing to do. Anyone can make a movie if they have something to say.” Stewart said she’s excited to direct another film soon. “It shouldn’t have taken so long,” she said. “Now that I’ve broken this seal … if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I don’t need anything more. I’ve always had it. I can’t wait for the next one.”

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Why Kristen Stewart Didn’t Star in Her Own Directorial Debut